What a tremendous week it has turned out to be. I am excited, refreshed, and reminded that life is in fact, a wonderful journey.
My friend Gail turned seventy this week. At her birthday party, I sat in the company of some of my favorite women. Robyn, the host of the party, a painter and gardener among other things, Jan, also an artist and one of my heroes, Mary, a savvy marketing director and Women's Fund of Winston Salem founder, and to round out the group, Patti and Susan, strong community supporters and both of whom I met through the Storyline Project. I was the youngest woman at the party, but as my mother has always told me, I have an old soul. Gail is amazing. She doesn't look the way one might think a seventy-year-old should look; she's active and deeply engaged in the going's on in the community. And she certainly doesn't "act" seventy. She is a busy body, if I ever saw one, a connector of people, and she does all of her life's work with such a joyful demeanor and a contagious energy. Sitting in a circle, under the blanket of the warm evening sky, I listen as this group of amazing women talk about how wonderful life is. Gail says that every year, her husband asks her what the best year of her life has been. How can you answer such a question? Gail says that she always thinks of the best year of her life as the first year she went to college. Her world opened up, she said. Then she acknowledges that her son would beg to differ; she tells us that her son has taken note of how happy she's been over her most recent years. She tells us that in fact, her life continues to grow, change and be rich and that the past few years have been fabulous. I am overjoyed to know that even after society says one should retire from activity and emotional growth, there is still so much to acquire.
During the gathering, I also have time to tell the ladies about my latest project: The Wedding Dress Project. They ask me what the impetus was to begin the project. They ask me questions about how I can make the project accessible to all people. They help me to continue to think through the project, and how it may be most effective. I have been speaking to various organizations, mostly over the phone these past two weeks. Yesterday, I had my second face-to-face meeting in North Carolina. I took a little trip the Chapel Hill, to speak with the director and program coordinator at the Family Violence Prevention Center of Orange County. We have a wonderful meeting, and I am in awe of how well the project has been catching on. I am beginning to plan some community events that would invite anyone interested or curious to participate in these workshops, to garner more support for the project.
At High Point, the semester is winding down, as I have mentioned. What a long semester it has been, and there are still a few things to do before we can all really call it quits for the summer. My students have their final showing coming up, and they seem very excited! The ballet students are putting their finishing touches on their variations, and the composition students are hard at work finalizing their solos and group works. I am always surprised by how much they anticipate these small, informal performances which act as their final exam. I can only imagine what their excitement will be when next spring's dance concert is on its way up. I will say, though I have thoroughly enjoyed teaching this year, and though I feel I have grown as a teacher in innumerable ways, I am only too happy to see summer on the horizon. I must recharge for what will surely be an even more hectic school year than this one. Summer for me, will be (hopefully my last) a hard lesson in frugality. So much to pay for, but as an adjunct still, no money coming in to pay for all of it. After being diligent and saving up for the summer, one thing after another has come up, and depleted my savings. As full time faculty this coming fall, I can only hope that next summer, I'll get to relax a bit more. I so excited at the thought of having only one job for the first time in my life. A sigh of relief...I love my job.
Until next time,
~Cara
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Gratitude to Rejection, and Some Stuff in Between
It's true, this blogging habit of mine has gotten away from me as of late. So much activity has left me tired, but still anticipating another burst of activity to come.
It is with deepest gratitude that I acknowledge the phenomenal run of Thoroughly Modern Millie April 7th-10th by our students at High Point U. Opening night was a gorgeous burst of color, sound and energy from all players in the productions, including performers, musicians, tech crew and production crew. For as terrified as I was to begin the process of choreographing Millie, I can honestly say that I am proud of myself, and extremely grateful to my students and colleagues for their support and willingness to see the process through with me. At a faculty meeting yesterday morning, we laid the High Point University season to rest, as we discussed our collective experiences for the season, and how we'd like to proceed next year. I am excited to take on the challenge again for our next musical production, Urinetown, where I will have the opportunity to work with the students in a new capacity.
During all of the hectic activity of tech for Millie, Mackenzie and Laura came to town to participate in a work in progress showing of our piece, "Common Threads." You may remember, that Laura and I began work on the piece this past fall, with a residency at NC State, where the students there helped us to explore various aspects of the piece. Though the showing went over well, I can't say that our time together was perfect. It was difficult, because for Laura and I, this was our first real disagreement. Coming into the week of the showing, there were factors that cut into our rehearsal time; Laura ended up coming a day later than we had originally discussed, due to events out of her control. The rehearsal schedule that I had originally planned was shortened. I had planned the week very closely, as there were only so many rehearsals and classes I could miss. But I figured, with what I'd planned, we'd have three full, 6 hour days to rehearse together, spanned over four. We also had some contention over the material that was brought to the table. Ultimately, Laura felt as though I had overtaken the process leading up to the showing, and felt excluded in much of the making. Mackenzie felt overwhelmed, and excluded in other ways. It wasn't at all my intention to overwhelm, or exclude anyone, I was only doing what in the moment, felt productive. Not to mention, we hadn't truly talked about how we felt the week should go, before jumping in to do the work. For me, this was my first experience working in a way where there are no clear roles or definitions of players. That was difficult, and I admit, it is something I can see now I need more experience with. I can't speak for Laura or Mackenzie, but it is something I would like to explore further with them. Though I apologized to everyone, I still felt looked down upon when the process was finished. I couldn't help but have hurt feelings, thinking that my art partners might have reservations about working with me in the future. What now? Since then, Laura and I have talked about that week, as have Mackenzie and I. And though everything is supposedly fine, I feel that the hurt each of us felt felt won't really dissipate, until we have a chance to try again, and change those things that did not work.
That situation brings me to a more recent happening: What a privilege....I saw Joe Goode (dancer/choreographer from CA who has been around for EVER) speak this past Thursday at Wake Forest University. What an interesting, talented man! If he should know anything about failure, it would be him, and he talks about it, along with risk and patience eloquently. Hearing him speak helped me to understand that things don't always come out right the first time you do them, and that being terrified, anxious, happy, sad, delirious, are all fine, as long as you're willing to actually feel your emotions. He spoke about collaborative work, and how collaborative relationships take years to form fully (he works with his dancers and collaborators for decades). He also notes that when new members come to the company, that they "come in where they come in." Joe is known for having his dancers do all manner of performative tasks; talking, singing, mime, whatever is needed. The most interesting thing I thought he said was that he doesn't audition dancers to act or sing. He brings them on as dancers, and allows them to blossom on their own time. After hearing Joe speak about his process, I felt better about the situation with Mackenzie and Laura. After all, this was only our first attempt, and we all have a lot of growing to do!
On to the newest development! This week, I have had such fun in the studio! I am working on a new solo dance, for the NEWMOVES festival in Pittsburgh, PA, which will happen in May, just after I get back from Berlin! I have choreographed a little section of the piece, where I have a light in my palm. With that light, I light my face, and various parts of my body. I shoot light across the space, and in an instant, create total darkness. I love it! I just hope that it works on stage. I guess we'll see! The second section of the piece is a very physical conniption of sorts, which begins slow, but then speeds up. The third section, is still up in the air. I have been experimenting with the reading of a book, and an uncovered lamp. I am talking in this section, but I have been toying with the idea from the beginning, of speaking in a language other than English. I will let you know how that turns out!
As always, with all of this fabulous activity, there is the crush of rejection. I get many rejections a month, as I apply for TONS of festivals, workshops, conferences, etc. per year. It isn't so bad most of the time, because for every couple of "no's" you receive, you get a "yes." I'm quite busy, as you might have noticed! BUT, it always hurts when you get a "no" from a festival or organization that you were really hoping for. I submitted my film, "Kitchen Table," to the Dance Camera West Festival this year. I was really hoping I would have a reason to go. Alas, no such luck. Since I have no film project this summer, I cannot expect to try again next year. Today, I was looking at a dance film grant app, and realized that I have no project to apply for. It makes me sad. I had hoped that I would at least get to put together something small, but that will not be the case this year. What, with Brett in Charlotte, my savings (art savings included!) ravaged by an onslaught of unexpected events, and my summer now being devoted to teaching to make up for it, I am forced to take a hiatus. I can only hope that the hiatus makes room for me to think and imagine.
Alright then. Off to do some reading, and meet Karola tonight for some dancerly camaraderie!
~Cara
It is with deepest gratitude that I acknowledge the phenomenal run of Thoroughly Modern Millie April 7th-10th by our students at High Point U. Opening night was a gorgeous burst of color, sound and energy from all players in the productions, including performers, musicians, tech crew and production crew. For as terrified as I was to begin the process of choreographing Millie, I can honestly say that I am proud of myself, and extremely grateful to my students and colleagues for their support and willingness to see the process through with me. At a faculty meeting yesterday morning, we laid the High Point University season to rest, as we discussed our collective experiences for the season, and how we'd like to proceed next year. I am excited to take on the challenge again for our next musical production, Urinetown, where I will have the opportunity to work with the students in a new capacity.
During all of the hectic activity of tech for Millie, Mackenzie and Laura came to town to participate in a work in progress showing of our piece, "Common Threads." You may remember, that Laura and I began work on the piece this past fall, with a residency at NC State, where the students there helped us to explore various aspects of the piece. Though the showing went over well, I can't say that our time together was perfect. It was difficult, because for Laura and I, this was our first real disagreement. Coming into the week of the showing, there were factors that cut into our rehearsal time; Laura ended up coming a day later than we had originally discussed, due to events out of her control. The rehearsal schedule that I had originally planned was shortened. I had planned the week very closely, as there were only so many rehearsals and classes I could miss. But I figured, with what I'd planned, we'd have three full, 6 hour days to rehearse together, spanned over four. We also had some contention over the material that was brought to the table. Ultimately, Laura felt as though I had overtaken the process leading up to the showing, and felt excluded in much of the making. Mackenzie felt overwhelmed, and excluded in other ways. It wasn't at all my intention to overwhelm, or exclude anyone, I was only doing what in the moment, felt productive. Not to mention, we hadn't truly talked about how we felt the week should go, before jumping in to do the work. For me, this was my first experience working in a way where there are no clear roles or definitions of players. That was difficult, and I admit, it is something I can see now I need more experience with. I can't speak for Laura or Mackenzie, but it is something I would like to explore further with them. Though I apologized to everyone, I still felt looked down upon when the process was finished. I couldn't help but have hurt feelings, thinking that my art partners might have reservations about working with me in the future. What now? Since then, Laura and I have talked about that week, as have Mackenzie and I. And though everything is supposedly fine, I feel that the hurt each of us felt felt won't really dissipate, until we have a chance to try again, and change those things that did not work.
That situation brings me to a more recent happening: What a privilege....I saw Joe Goode (dancer/choreographer from CA who has been around for EVER) speak this past Thursday at Wake Forest University. What an interesting, talented man! If he should know anything about failure, it would be him, and he talks about it, along with risk and patience eloquently. Hearing him speak helped me to understand that things don't always come out right the first time you do them, and that being terrified, anxious, happy, sad, delirious, are all fine, as long as you're willing to actually feel your emotions. He spoke about collaborative work, and how collaborative relationships take years to form fully (he works with his dancers and collaborators for decades). He also notes that when new members come to the company, that they "come in where they come in." Joe is known for having his dancers do all manner of performative tasks; talking, singing, mime, whatever is needed. The most interesting thing I thought he said was that he doesn't audition dancers to act or sing. He brings them on as dancers, and allows them to blossom on their own time. After hearing Joe speak about his process, I felt better about the situation with Mackenzie and Laura. After all, this was only our first attempt, and we all have a lot of growing to do!
On to the newest development! This week, I have had such fun in the studio! I am working on a new solo dance, for the NEWMOVES festival in Pittsburgh, PA, which will happen in May, just after I get back from Berlin! I have choreographed a little section of the piece, where I have a light in my palm. With that light, I light my face, and various parts of my body. I shoot light across the space, and in an instant, create total darkness. I love it! I just hope that it works on stage. I guess we'll see! The second section of the piece is a very physical conniption of sorts, which begins slow, but then speeds up. The third section, is still up in the air. I have been experimenting with the reading of a book, and an uncovered lamp. I am talking in this section, but I have been toying with the idea from the beginning, of speaking in a language other than English. I will let you know how that turns out!
As always, with all of this fabulous activity, there is the crush of rejection. I get many rejections a month, as I apply for TONS of festivals, workshops, conferences, etc. per year. It isn't so bad most of the time, because for every couple of "no's" you receive, you get a "yes." I'm quite busy, as you might have noticed! BUT, it always hurts when you get a "no" from a festival or organization that you were really hoping for. I submitted my film, "Kitchen Table," to the Dance Camera West Festival this year. I was really hoping I would have a reason to go. Alas, no such luck. Since I have no film project this summer, I cannot expect to try again next year. Today, I was looking at a dance film grant app, and realized that I have no project to apply for. It makes me sad. I had hoped that I would at least get to put together something small, but that will not be the case this year. What, with Brett in Charlotte, my savings (art savings included!) ravaged by an onslaught of unexpected events, and my summer now being devoted to teaching to make up for it, I am forced to take a hiatus. I can only hope that the hiatus makes room for me to think and imagine.
Alright then. Off to do some reading, and meet Karola tonight for some dancerly camaraderie!
~Cara
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