Love.

I love my body; the way it moves, the way it looks, and the things it helps me do. This afternoon, after teaching my students at Salem Academy, I stayed a while to play. The dim light cast by sunset made beautiful shadows across my face and torso, and across the studio floor. I am ready to create. I can hardly wait for a stretch of time where I can do so. I am fascinated by the sequences I might make. I am fascinated by how I might challenge my body, what I can make it do. I am fascinated with how it will feel once I've finished whatever it is I am to finish. Will it make me breathe hard? Will it make me think hard? Or will it bring forth hard emotion?

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This week, Jen and Mark, two Broadway performers came to work with our students. I noticed an immediate change in the cast of Millie's work ethic and disposition after working with the pair. I looked on as they taught combos in an audition type atmosphere, answered questions about the lives of Broadway performers, and showed our students parts of their own current performance repertoire. I almost wish I could have guest artists every week! Many of our students are hopeful that they will move to a big city, find the perfect job and live happily ever after. I think a few of them will. I think many more will opt for more secure lives, after finding out that the arts are brutal! I wish we could prepare them for what they're in for, but I don't think there really is a way to do that. You just have to go out there and find out what you're made of. I think Mark and Jen gave great advice. And I think the students took it to heart.

I wish I could elicit the same kind of excitement from my students as Mark and Jen did. They're comfortable with me now, and though they do good work for me, I feel as though they are not convinced that my accomplishments are worthy of their excitement. Maybe that's just me. And maybe it is because they have no idea what it is I do. Maybe it is the truth. And maybe I still have a hell of a lot to learn to be a great teacher. The other thing might be the proximity of my age to my students...one of them told me today that I was their peer. In a casual circumstance, that is arguably true. I have many students that are just a few years younger than me, I have a few students that are my age, and I have had just a few that are a little older than me. That however, is getting to be rare, now that I am past 25. Part of me likes being so close in age to my students. Part of me wishes they couldn't tell how old I am. But, that will pass, maybe quicker than I might like.

Ultimately, I love teaching. I feel I have a good knack for it, and I know I genuinely want my students to succeed. I know I want to do my best. Years from now, I hope to look back and be proud of how far I've come, and all the people I may have influenced. Perhaps I have had an impact on a few already.

G'night. Early morning tomorrow!

~Cara