I Must.

My four performances with alban elved went quickly, to say the least. Sitting backstage these past few nights, I have pondered what we are doing as artists, and why. What is the purpose of this ritual we participate in? Sporting costumes to become a new cast of characters, who live the same scenarios every performance. Moving about to music, telling stories without words. Who benefits from this parade? Two little girls attend the performance two nights in a row. They are full of questions and curiosity. They long to be up on stage, dancing around, living the life of artists, it seems. Funny, since Karola and I talk about how unglamorous it is to do our art. Yet, when asked, we spout nothing but praise for the ritual. I do love it.

Today, I am back to teaching my classes. I have to say, the composition class is so lovely. My few students make absolute beauty, without even realizing it. They don't turn triples, or jump over mountains, but their explorations are virtuosic. I find myself looking on in awe, sometimes forgetting to give instruction, as I watch them occupy the space. They're so raw, unscathed by knowing too much. I only wish I was as fortunate.

The challenge continues for me at HPU to successfully choreograph Thoroughly Modern Millie. Moving twenty people across the space in an organized, interesting fashion is just hard. The process of putting this show together makes me doubt my abilities. Oddly enough, these first few rehearsals have been highly productive, I'm right on schedule. I know everything will get done. I just want it to be amazing.

On another note...

Yes, it is time to stage an evening of work. I am motivated by two factors:

1. I need new work to submit to festivals and conferences next year.

2. Observing Karola enjoy her success of a wonderful review, loyal supporters and a new work in progress makes me a little jealous. I should be sitting on the edge of the stage, telling people about why I chose a certain costume or piece of music. I should be explaining my process. I should feel the sigh of relief at a job well done.

Therefore, my decision is set. I will be staging a new concert in the fall of 2011. I can work on the material this summer. I need to get going, I am restless, regardless of my always-packed schedule. My brain is moving a million miles a minute, and I can hardly keep up. I must, I must, I must. I must do many things, but new work is at the top of the list. But who will pay for it??

Good night, all.

~Cara