Semester Over!

My semester at Goddard is officially over. I received my last packet response today! What a wonderful semester it has been: delving into the philosophies and practices of my artistic predecessors, exploring new ways of thinking about my work, taking risks and having fun! I couldn't have asked for a better adviser this semester. Petra was encouraging, open, and challenged me with thoughtful questions and tasks to try. Much of the reading I did this semester was inspired by her guidance. I feel like I have broken through some walls that were created by my own self and my desire to be credible as an artist. I realize that those notions are ridiculous! Too often, we put restrictions on ourselves to fit what others deem as credible. No more. I do what I need, when I need it, to express what I need to express. I would like to say that I will not ever apologize for it, but I am still working on that! I think now that I have completed my second semester in this program, that forces you to look at yourself closely, and know yourself as a thinker in the context of a community, I am becoming more comfortable with my artistic desires. I wonder if I would have come to some of my conclusions and epiphanies had I not entered this program. perhaps, but I think it would have taken a while. My twenties have been thus far, a time where I am growing into myself as an independent thinker and being, but I still feel like I have something to prove. But what? That I can be super woman? I think so. Maybe it's time to just be a regular girl for a while. Be OK with making mistakes, conducting experiments just for the sake of doing them, completing a process, even if it seems that the product will not be a crowning masterpiece. I've still got the better part of four years until my next decade. People tell me that your thirties are for shedding facades and becoming more comfortable with your true self. Maybe I don't have to wait. As of late, I have been working on breathing judgment and worry away. It doesn't always work, but when it does, I realize that most of the things that send me for a loop aren't a big deal. I feel better. I feel free. I begin to realize that people are going to think what they want, do what they want, feel what they want. The world is going to spin with or without my cooperation. So maybe I can just enjoy the ride. Enjoy my art, even it's heinous mistakes. I could even celebrate these failures as progress!

Looks like rain this evening...thunder is rumbling softly in the distance. I should get out of these sweats, and get into my dress. My mother and sister are taking me out for a girls night.

~Cara