Finding Words

I have really begun to enjoy opening my dance practice with a vocal practice. It just seems a productive way to begin warming the body: from the inside out. The breath moving in and out of my lungs warms my torso, which warms the muscles around my ribs and in my abs, which begins to warm the muscles around my spine. The muscles around my neck and jaw release and my mind can become clear through whatever song I'm singing.

Today's exploration into the phrase work I have been creating over the past few days did not yield any new material that stuck. I did however, find out what is NOT to come next in the sequence, which is still progress, in my book. I am getting increasingly comfortable with the material that has stuck, and I am beginning to play with dynamic, timing, and energy flow. Emotionally, the work makes me feel as if I am looking forward to something important. I imagine, as I slowly move my palms forward in the first few moments of the phrase, that I am approaching light. This light is soft, and draws me in like a moth. I move away from the light as the phrase goes on, experiencing new ways of feeling and doing. I return to the light eventually, always. It is home. A safe place I can use as a jumping-off point for my larger adventures. Sometimes during the phrase, I feel as if I am wearing a heavy jacket, that I shed again and again, arriving lighter at my next destination. This is the first time I have put into words my feelings regarding this work. I did not have words for it until now.

This afternoon, I go to my singing lesson. My teacher says she can tell how much I've been practicing. That makes me feel good. We talk about the art of practice during our session. I read Twyla Tharp's book, "The Creative Habit" while I wait for my car to be inspected. She talks about practice, too. She says that practice is all about making habits for oneself, rituals. Rituals make the getting-going easier, more achievable and certainly, more important to us. I think about my own rituals: driving to the studio most mornings, with the radio off and my mouth jabbering to no one about art, and what I shall do, how much time I have to do it in, and how it will get done. An executive's meeting for one. My in-studio rituals vary, I have many and some happen sometimes, and others happen at other times. I like variety. The goal is always the same, though. I wish to explore my body, its nuances, its emotions, its capabilities, its sensitivities.

This evening, I was not able to get to 6pm yoga, like I'd planned. So at 7:45, I did a quiet practice. I meditated, and tried to disassociate noises from their sources. A rash of music coming from all sides. Animal sounds, people and machine sounds. I didn't want to know where they came from, just hear their pitched and timbres.

Shopping late night. Veggies and fruit. Strawberry cartons: buy one, get one free.

~Cara