Weekend Away

After a period of great creativity, my time has come (for the weekend at least) to an end. I have to make a trip up north, and am sad to have to leave my work behind. I have been working on a song I've written, entitled, "Quilt," inspired by my time with Laura last week. I have been working on it during my singing lessons, and am excited to choreograph a solo to it on Mackenzie, when she gets here. I have also been preparing for the choreography of my next film, which we shoot at the end of the month. There are a lot of loose ends to tie up before then. Additionally, I am working with a friend, Linda, to create a children's theater piece about Phillipe Petit, who walked between the towers on a tight rope. We have gotten a lot of material done this week! With all of this stuff happening, I'm scared. It is scary to have so many things so close on the horizon, not knowing how they will turn out. This weekend away certainly doesn't help. If I really had a choice, I would sequester myself in the studio and not tell anyone where I was, so I could just work and work and work...

Changing Time

This day begins lying in a sea of little metal circles in a circus dress with water seeping into my hair. I am modeling for my photographer friend, Diana, who has had a dream that must be translated onto photo paper. I happily oblige. Lying down, face to the sky, I realize that even though it is overcast, it is difficult to keep my eyes completely open. Sparkle shiny silver wet back cold toes. The morning moves quickly, and we feel productive. I was glad to spend the time, lying in a dream for a few hours.

An hour later, I feel as if the days have changed over. I'm in Mount Airy, rehearsing with another friend, Linda, for a children's theater piece about Phillipe Petit, the man who walked between the twin towers in NYC on a tight rope. We explore some tap riffs we might use, and some way to begin the piece. We are successful in finding a great little riff to use jumping back and forth on boxes and passing off rhythm.

My yoga class is next on the roster, and again, I feel as if I am changing time zones. The class goes quickly, only two students today. We do a gentle class, and focus on opening the shoulders and hips. I come home to read and write for school. Robert has arrived home. I will leave this post and sit next to him on the couch, eating ice cream.

~Cara

Ravel

I am listening to Ravel. I love Ravel, always have, since I've known his music. I think the first time I heard his music, and knew it was his composition, was my senior year of high school. I was at a concert at my new art school, the NC School of the Arts, and a young, talented cello player presented a collection of his music. From that day on, I couldn't get my hands on enough Ravel. I realize at this moment, that it has been so long since I have listened to music "just because." Now it seems, my interest in music is only for the purpose of creating dance. It has been so long, since I've lay on the floor, to let the notes flow over my body, so I can absorb them and nothing more. I want to do that now, but my cat is on the counter, and I am supposed to be writing essays for school, and an article for the magazine I'm writing for. I need no light, no food, nothing visual, only a place to lie comfortably, so I can fully experience this beauty. Each song I listen to, I want to push repeat, but then the next song starts, and I would rather listen on. Each song is so beautiful. If I were a musician of any skill, I would desire to play this music. Would it be so bad to take a break, and listen?

~Cara

From Wednesday

After an inspiring, creative, productive time with Laura in Charleston, I drove home. During the four hour drive, I came up with a song, based on some of the concepts Laura and I spoke about, one of which was woman's work. I have been hard at work putting together the lyrics and the melody, recording my voice so I can hear the progression of its evolution. I plan to bring the song to my singing lesson today, so Barbara can tell me what she thinks about it. I have no idea if we will actually use the song, or not for this evening we are planning, but at any rate, it is good to get the juices flowing in a different direction.

Last evening, I went to listen to Scott (percussionist from "Lost and Found") play his recital at the NC school of the Arts, where he is currently a student. He played a beautiful collection of Bach partitas on the marimba, which I love. I love the sound of the wood, how it just sings out with such warmth! He then played a contemporary piece called, "UFO," where he got to play on a variety of unique instruments, like wash tubs, car parts and the like. A lot of very complex rhythms. My favorite sections were the third section, where he played a vibraphone with a bow, the metal rang so loudly and with such a steady flow of sounds that blended one into the other, and the final section, where he played some amazing patterns on an extended drum set.

Today it's off to the studio, singing then tap class!

~Cara

A Different World

Charleston seems a different world from Winston Salem. Driving in, even the smell of the air changes. I am in the "real" south, with it's plantation houses, fishing boats and old American institutions. Laura explains how the concept of duality can be sensed everywhere, as we walk by monuments to war heroes and memories of slavery, pineapples carved on the doors and entrances of houses as signs of hospitality, juxtaposed with various signs of the Confederate history. Here, rivers grow brackish, as they mix with salt water, before pouring out into the sea.

During the day, Laura takes me on a tour of her city, and we talk about art and how we will commence our collaboration together. We walk for miles, stopping sometimes, to look out over the water, or the marshes, sit in the park or a small coffee shop. We explain aspects of our current practice together, and I get to show Laura a little piece of the micro movement I've been working on.

Later in the afternoon, we go to the The Library Society for a pick-up rehearsal before Laura's performance. Laura performed last evening! The space is amazing: the highest ceilings, stacked with old and new books, marble floors and big windows which let in lots of light. As Laura opens her mouth to sing, her voice easily fills the space, bouncing off the walls with a soft reverberation. I tell her later that I think all the paper absorbs the echo, as a space like that without books would sound quite different. Laura agrees, and we're happy this space has been chosen for the evening's event.

At 7pm, about 80 people are sitting in chairs, awaiting the beginning of Laura's performance, which is a collection of songs reflecting the American experience generations ago. She sings about cowboys and about Billy the Kid, she sings songs about going off to war and songs that made it to America through its immigrants. She ends with a beautiful rendition of "Dixie," which she prefaces with a metaphor. She says that South Carolina is like a rose, which has thorns on its stems, and can be difficult to take care of, but ultimately the sum of these parts produce a rich smelling rose. Laura's voice is as smooth as silk, and washes over the audience like a soft blanket.

In addition, Laura has brought in a string quartet to play some Dvorak, which was gorgeous. Laura tells the audience that Dvorak was inspired by both his eastern European roots, as well as the rhythms of slave songs. Each song in the collection was rousing and had many layers to listen to.

All in all, a beautiful day and evening! Back home this evening!

~Cara

Off I Go!

Last evening, I premiered my dance film, "Two Downtown" at an Art Tasting (local arts organization) event here in Winston Salem! My film was last on the program, which I didn't know, because there were no actual programs. I almost thought they'd forgotten my film! But the evening was wonderful. All of the films shown were in such variety, and there was a good mix of those films that were more funny to those that were more dramatic, or documentary oriented. I especially liked the very short (2 min) stories by immigrants who have been involved in a program where they have enrolled in a film class that teaches them basic elements of film, and they tell their individual stories through the medium. I loved that the event took place in the new art theater, a/perture, right in downtown! It felt so special! And I had a wonderful group of friends coming to support me. I also got to introduce my dad as the percussionist, Brett and Rob and Mom for her work on the film! I think everyone really enjoyed it. I only wish Mackenzie were there.

This morning, in about 45 minutes, I'll drive to Charleston, SC to see my friend Laura! She goes to school with me at Godddard, and she is a lovely musician and composer! We will hash out some ideas for some collaborative work that is to happen in the future. I don't know what to expect yet. She has some words and music to show me, and I'm so excited! With that said, I've gotta shower, and get going!

Happy day!

~Cara

Sound Healing

Yesterday evening, I had the privilege of attending my first ever sound healing concert. The best way to describe the concert is one where you make yourself as comfortable as possible, on blankets, bolsters and other things, so that you may recline and allow sounds to wash over you. These sounds are coming from a collection of crystal and metal singing bowls, tingshas and bells, didgeridoos, rain sticks and ocean drums and a host of other earthy-sounding objects of glass, wood and metal. The crystal bowls made the most reverberant sounds, whose waves traveled to my very core. I had some sensational experiences while lying there on the floor, I became very warm (I was cold when I walked in), I felt sensations and tingling in my hands and at times I felt almost bowled over (even thought I was already lying down) by the sounds. At a point during the concert, I also felt a sharp pain in my lower abdomen, which seemed to pulsate in time with the sound waves (at the end, I came to find out that others had similar experiences, but in different parts of the body). I most enjoyed the dissonance followed by slippery harmony when each bowl was sounded in conjunction with others. My ears were taken on a journey of ebbing and flowing sounds that bounced and shimmered about the room in a smooth wave. By the middle of the concert, I found it difficult to lay still, as I was sweltering, and my mind was racing with the possibilities of using some of these bowls for my own choreographic purposes. After the concert, Robert, the musician, suggested that some of us try having a bowl sounded off directly on our person. I had one placed on my lower back, as I have had a chronic pain in my left QL for years. The vibrations felt lovely. I was skeptical that my pain would be gone this morning, however, my back has felt pretty good all day! So, I guess Dr. Funkenstein was right: "Whatever part of your body it is, I want you to lay it on your radio...funk not only moves, it can remove!"

Have a lovely day!

~Cara

I'm Back!

So, I did not at all uphold my promise to myself to stay away from the computer this week. I am obviously seriously addicted to this machine! Especially Facebook. What would happen if I erased my facebook page, with my 950 some "friends," and got rid of my group page for my dance company, 87 Dance Productions, with its 450 some "fans?" Probably nothing. But I'm not ready to get out quite yet. I think once FB becomes creepy like My Space, then I'll get out. Until then, you know where to find me!

Now don't get me wrong, I also got a lot done this week! I finished yet another packet for my adviser at school. I wrote a series of essays that occupied 25 or so pages about art, dance, technique and a few other things. I feel accomplished! That is until three weeks from now, when another one will be due, and I have to do that all over again!

In the dance studio this week, I have continued my explorations into tap dance, and I am going to class tonight...I'm so excited! As for the other material I have been working on, I have been forced into a break. It seems that I have torqued my knee, and have taken a few days to let it rest. It has been SO HARD not to just go into the studio and throw myself about the place. I am waiting until Saturday to begin again.

I am excited about my singing also, as I have delved into my first official song! Barbara, my teacher says I'm doing really well, and I am enjoying it soooo much! I never knew I would just love singing. I thought it would just be something I could do to help with my speaking voice and stage presence, you know, give me some options for various performance scenarios...but I LOVE it, and I hope to continue. I may have a dilemma though, as Barbara has just finished her doctorate, and is interviewing for jobs out of state. I hope that when she leaves after this summer, I can find someone to study with that I like as much as her.

That is all for now, going to eat dinner, then get off to the studio for class!

~Cara

A Weekend of Wonder

This weekend has been wonderful. I hate to see it go. The weather has been amazing, I have spent time with friends and I have made art! What could be better?

On Friday, I taught my usual Friday morning yoga class. I have been going really slowly through the postures as of late, and leaving lots of time to feel and absorb the effects of the poses. My students have been surprised to find that this method is every bit as heat producing as a more main stream power yoga practice. After the practice, I have a brief visit with my friend, Susan. She has been taking my yoga class since the first day I taught three and a half years ago at Peak Fitness. She has been supporting me ever since, and I appreciate her loyalty and her belief in my more than words can say. Susan motivates me to be the best yoga teacher I can be, because she has seen my transformation from timid new yoga teacher to confident experienced yoga teacher, and she is very honest about her feeling toward the practices I present. She's been practicing yoga much longer than I have and she has a keen awareness of her body that I admire.

Also on Friday, I got my first check from LVCmag! So it is official, the cycle is complete. I have submitted the articles, they have been published online and I have been paid...I am a professional writer (however green)!

I went to the studio that afternoon and continued with the material I have been working on, and practiced some more tap, too.

Saturday was lovely. Robert and I attended two amazing yoga classes at Triad Yoga Institute, for the Animal Rescue and Foster Program in Greensboro. Heather lead a beautiful mindful movement practice, followed by Terry's incredibly fun wall practice! Both Rob and I felt stretched and relaxed after the classes.

That afternoon, I went back to the studio, only to realize that I've hit a bump. It was only after I left the I had an epiphany of how I should continue the material. The thought took me on a completely different path that I originally saw the piece going in, but it is for the best, as up until this point, the material is, or at least feels gorgeous and I can't let the energy drop.

That evening, Rob and I went to Helen's house for a Poutine party! Poutine, I learned, is a Canadian dish of fries, cheese curds and gravy and was artery-clogging goodness to the max. I am glad to know that Helen lives so close to us...just around the corner! And Rachel lives on the other side of the neighborhood a few blocks. Some of my former teachers were there, as well as some of my acquaintances from the larger community. it is nice to know I live around such great people, and that I have fellow dancers very close by!

Today was pretty chill. I mostly worked on my packet for school, which I have just sent off a few moments ago. We got the wedding invitations done and I took the day off from dancing. Taught my 2pm yoga class to an intimate group of three, and all is well with the world.

Hope you don't mind, but I need a serious break from the computer for a few days. No facebook, no blogging and no writing! Don't miss me too much, I'll be back by week's end with tons of fun stuff to tell you!

Good night all!

~Cara

Finding Words

I have really begun to enjoy opening my dance practice with a vocal practice. It just seems a productive way to begin warming the body: from the inside out. The breath moving in and out of my lungs warms my torso, which warms the muscles around my ribs and in my abs, which begins to warm the muscles around my spine. The muscles around my neck and jaw release and my mind can become clear through whatever song I'm singing.

Today's exploration into the phrase work I have been creating over the past few days did not yield any new material that stuck. I did however, find out what is NOT to come next in the sequence, which is still progress, in my book. I am getting increasingly comfortable with the material that has stuck, and I am beginning to play with dynamic, timing, and energy flow. Emotionally, the work makes me feel as if I am looking forward to something important. I imagine, as I slowly move my palms forward in the first few moments of the phrase, that I am approaching light. This light is soft, and draws me in like a moth. I move away from the light as the phrase goes on, experiencing new ways of feeling and doing. I return to the light eventually, always. It is home. A safe place I can use as a jumping-off point for my larger adventures. Sometimes during the phrase, I feel as if I am wearing a heavy jacket, that I shed again and again, arriving lighter at my next destination. This is the first time I have put into words my feelings regarding this work. I did not have words for it until now.

This afternoon, I go to my singing lesson. My teacher says she can tell how much I've been practicing. That makes me feel good. We talk about the art of practice during our session. I read Twyla Tharp's book, "The Creative Habit" while I wait for my car to be inspected. She talks about practice, too. She says that practice is all about making habits for oneself, rituals. Rituals make the getting-going easier, more achievable and certainly, more important to us. I think about my own rituals: driving to the studio most mornings, with the radio off and my mouth jabbering to no one about art, and what I shall do, how much time I have to do it in, and how it will get done. An executive's meeting for one. My in-studio rituals vary, I have many and some happen sometimes, and others happen at other times. I like variety. The goal is always the same, though. I wish to explore my body, its nuances, its emotions, its capabilities, its sensitivities.

This evening, I was not able to get to 6pm yoga, like I'd planned. So at 7:45, I did a quiet practice. I meditated, and tried to disassociate noises from their sources. A rash of music coming from all sides. Animal sounds, people and machine sounds. I didn't want to know where they came from, just hear their pitched and timbres.

Shopping late night. Veggies and fruit. Strawberry cartons: buy one, get one free.

~Cara

Reminded of Patience

This morning in the studio was another fruitful day of exploration of many kinds. First I sang. Something happened. I yawned, and I think I finally felt what it is my voice teacher has been trying to get me to feel these past few months. The yawn created an openness in my throat and a relaxation that allowed me to slip between pitches with little effort. The sensation did not last but a few minutes as tension crept back into my shoulder girdle and throat, but I felt it: my chest vibrating, my lungs expanding deeply.

After my discovery, I put on my tap shoes to continue my process of retraining my body after having not done tap in such a long time. I am preparing for the class I must teach in the fall at HPU. I will also be choreographing the musical "Thoroughly Modern Millie" next spring there, and I thought about a year's time would be enough to prepare for the challenge. The time steps have come back, the flaps and shuffles, maxi turns have come back. The one thing that is most frustrating is getting the relaxed control of my feet that is required for tap dancing. My work will lie in allowing my ankle joints to relax in action to move more efficiently.

Micro movement came next. I began with work in my spine. Discovering that over gripping the abs will shorten the spine, not support it. A moderate lift, used for the purpose of standing, sitting, and moving through basic movements is best. Over gripping the abdominals can cause other muscles to tighten: the hip flexors, the gluts, the quads and hams. When the abs are over gripped, it can cause tucking in the pelvis, which creates tension in these other muscles. I want to do my work with released or pseudo released gluts. Over gripping the gluts causes stiffness in the pelvis. I don't want that, either. I do some work with my shoulders, feeling my shoulder blades slide on my back as I set the impulse to lift my arms. I work on my hips, as usual.

Working with the phrase I began yesterday, I continue to create more material in silence. This sudden burst of creativity, after such a lull in it reminds me that I need to be patient when knocking on Creativity's door. The door will open when it's ready, and there will always be amazing experiences behind the door waiting. I am confident that this time, I'm on to something. I can feel it in the way I'm working: very meditative, pointed, relaxed. I have 4 minutes of material done in 2 hour-long rehearsals. When I am in this place, material comes out quickly and easily. The making is almost trance-like. The body is willing to experiment and push, the mind is willing to be flexible. today I patiently awaited movement after movement to emerge. This piece is experimental for me in that I am not being driven by music, words or emotions. I am not yet sure what is driving this material. But it is slow, contemplative, with bursts of energy. The point at which I have stopped today marks a change in energy that will shift the feel of the piece. And my thighs are sore.

More later!

~Cara

Simple, but Lovely Day

It is just before 6pm, and I will be leaving shortly to teach a yoga class downtown.

Today was a lovely day. The sun is shining,the temperature is right, and the dance gods have smiled upon me. Today's studio practice was marvelous! Two and a half hours just flew by, as I practiced some tap, though I realize my draw backs need some attention, and made a lovely phrase. I would say even more than just a phrase, about two minutes worth of satisfying material that took me low to the floor, high up on my legs, turning, spinning and other things. There was sweat on my brow, and I could feel my thighs begin to get sore. Lovely.

No articles to speak of this week, as LVC has put a freeze on any new submissions until further notice. I canceled the interview I had scheduled for today, and got some writing done for my next school packet. I am, among other things, writing my artistic autobiography. I didn't think writing it would be so hard, but I have to keep it to a minimum! It is hard to fit 20 years of art into just a few pages. No wonder all those famous people have such fat books.

'Til tomorrow...

~Cara

Rainy Day

A gloriously gloomy day: charcoal skies, lumbering raindrops, the absence of bird song. A perfect day for creating indoors.

I will go to the studio soon, to explore some things that have been rolling around in my mind, but I have to tell you, I am eagerly awaiting July, when my dance brain can finally take a small rest (my wedding and honeymoon!). Sitting in my car, before my performance yesterday, I burst into tears momentarily, the way a child does when it hasn't had it's nap. I wouldn't call it burn-out, because I have no intention to stop dancing or performing anytime soon. I think I have just taken on a lot this year, and my brain is literally fried. Many new things this year. A few dance pieces, new film work, new yoga work and school. Generally, I relish the thought of being over busy. I work well under a little bit of stress, and enjoy the challenge of a ticking clock. But I've always been told by the ones who love me, "You can't be everything all the time. You can't be everywhere all the time. Sometimes, you just need to be Cara."

Yesterday afternoon, Scott(percussionist) and I performed our play, "Lost and Found" for a street festival in Greensboro, The Shindig Festival. Though it was a difficult venue, there were no mikes, people walking through our performance space, etc., there were a few people who had some very encouraging things to say about our presentation. A few people asked for our contact info, and a few said they enjoyed it, but only wished that they could hear us better. Yesterday's performance was the first time anyone has clapped after Jeremiah's dance! That was fun. I tried to project, but had to yell anyway, because the festival was so loud, and ran out of breath for our rendition of "Green Sally Up," which Scott carried. So, a new experience. We won't be performing that piece again until the fall probably, if some of the schools pick us up for arts in ed. This might have also been our last performance...a short, but lovely life for this little piece, an experiment that turned out better than I expected!

This week, I have begun a new film project I've been hired on for through Green Street Church. They are having Brett and I put together a series of short promotional videos for their new website, that highlights all of the different ministries they run throughout the year. I like Pastor Kelly very much. He's not scary, like other pastor's I've met, and he has a sense of humor. The congregation at the church is extremely diverse, and generally, Pastor Kelly has a translator for the Hispanic members of the church. We will be doing all of our shooting between May and June, in hopes that Brett will have everything edited together by mid to late summer.

In the coming days, I'm also getting my tap shoes on! I have a tap class to teach next semester at HPU, and it has been quite a few years since I have had a regular tap class. I've got some videos, to refresh my memory on a few things, and think I'll hit up one of the local studios for a class, or two. I have already begun to play around with some rhythms, and I forgot how much fun tap is!

Don't know what the rest of this week will shape up to be. Be rest assured, as it unfolds, you get updates!

~Cara