Love.

I love my body; the way it moves, the way it looks, and the things it helps me do. This afternoon, after teaching my students at Salem Academy, I stayed a while to play. The dim light cast by sunset made beautiful shadows across my face and torso, and across the studio floor. I am ready to create. I can hardly wait for a stretch of time where I can do so. I am fascinated by the sequences I might make. I am fascinated by how I might challenge my body, what I can make it do. I am fascinated with how it will feel once I've finished whatever it is I am to finish. Will it make me breathe hard? Will it make me think hard? Or will it bring forth hard emotion?

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This week, Jen and Mark, two Broadway performers came to work with our students. I noticed an immediate change in the cast of Millie's work ethic and disposition after working with the pair. I looked on as they taught combos in an audition type atmosphere, answered questions about the lives of Broadway performers, and showed our students parts of their own current performance repertoire. I almost wish I could have guest artists every week! Many of our students are hopeful that they will move to a big city, find the perfect job and live happily ever after. I think a few of them will. I think many more will opt for more secure lives, after finding out that the arts are brutal! I wish we could prepare them for what they're in for, but I don't think there really is a way to do that. You just have to go out there and find out what you're made of. I think Mark and Jen gave great advice. And I think the students took it to heart.

I wish I could elicit the same kind of excitement from my students as Mark and Jen did. They're comfortable with me now, and though they do good work for me, I feel as though they are not convinced that my accomplishments are worthy of their excitement. Maybe that's just me. And maybe it is because they have no idea what it is I do. Maybe it is the truth. And maybe I still have a hell of a lot to learn to be a great teacher. The other thing might be the proximity of my age to my students...one of them told me today that I was their peer. In a casual circumstance, that is arguably true. I have many students that are just a few years younger than me, I have a few students that are my age, and I have had just a few that are a little older than me. That however, is getting to be rare, now that I am past 25. Part of me likes being so close in age to my students. Part of me wishes they couldn't tell how old I am. But, that will pass, maybe quicker than I might like.

Ultimately, I love teaching. I feel I have a good knack for it, and I know I genuinely want my students to succeed. I know I want to do my best. Years from now, I hope to look back and be proud of how far I've come, and all the people I may have influenced. Perhaps I have had an impact on a few already.

G'night. Early morning tomorrow!

~Cara

Chilly Colors

Though chilly, today was a beautiful day. Sunny as it was, I decided to ditch the gray and black I've been wearing over the past gloomy week and replace it with colors I love: deep teal, sky blue and dark purple. The day did not go entirely as planned, but there were some good parts. I think my favorite part of the day was spent sitting at my mom and dad's house, right in front of my father's drum kit, as he explained, and played for me some of his current thoughts and explorations. I tilted my head to one side, and let the vibration literally pour into my ear.

Activity at HPU is still in full swing. Last evening, after the technically rocky, but overall artistically successful (the actors not only did a wonderful job in general, but dealt with the technical difficulties with absolute grace and professionalism!) opening of "True West," we announced next year's season which seemed to go over very well! I am super excited about the plays we're presenting next year, but most of all, I'm excited about our dance concert. I'm very much looking forward to working with the students in this new capacity. They are now getting a taste of what a dance rehearsal experience is like with our Millie rehearsals, but I think a dance only concert will help to bring their awareness of the importance of movement in theater to a new level.

Composition class this week was interesting. We worked on some exercises involving different modes of communication, as well as some exercises where the students got their first taste of directing other dancers. They were enthused and delighted by these exercises, and became excited about seeing their peers act out their kinetic desires. Further than that, they became excited by the surprises and metamorphosis that came from directing bodies that are different from their own. I presented their first big project this week. They will begin work on their solos for our showing, but they did not seem as excited about this as I'd hoped. I know it is because they had already been dreaming and scheming about what their solos would look and feel like. I'm sure they had music already picked out, and were thinking of moves they'd put into their dances. But I rattled them up. I gave parameters.

-Their music must be music they have never heard previous to their project.

-Their music must have no words.

-Their music must be about two minutes (give or take).

-They must find an existing score from which to base their solos off of (this could be an actual musical score, or a recipe from a cookbook, or a set of building instructions, etc., any skeleton that could be abstracted).

We discussed the concept of a score at length in class this week. The students came up with some wonderful definitions of the word/concept, and also some amazing movement sequences. I know their bubbles are a little burst at the moment, but I just know their projects will come out beautifully!

My last little bit of news: I have received a Graduate Scholar Award from the 2011 Arts In Society Conference in Berlin! My conference fee is now waived, and I will play an active role over the course of the conference; introducing speakers, chairing sessions, helping with conference logistics, in addition to presenting my workshop! I'm so excited. I hope this trip will be the networking opportunity that brings me closer to traveling with my work.

It isn't late quite yet, but I am very tired. It is time to sleep. Until next time!

~Cara

Pouring Buckets

Late Thursday night, I picked up Mackenzie from the train station in Raleigh. The next day, we drive on to Wilmington. Mackenzie quizzes me on the meanings of various Italian sentences she reads from a book. I listen, repeat and guess at many of the words, clinging on to those few I am confident I know. We are leaving for Venice in two weeks. We're super excited, but I fear the few days we'll be there won't be nearly enough to see everything there is to see!

Despite the buckets of rain pouring from the sky Friday evening, a sizable crowd came out to see our final performance on the NC Dance Festival tour. The performance took place on the humble stage of the Wilmington Community Arts Center, formerly a WWII USO hall. History hangs on the walls in the form of original components to the hall, such as the salmon colored mirrors in the bathroom, in addition to replications of WWII era propaganda and news clippings. Kenze and I love history.

The evening went off without a hitch, and overall I am happy with how we did on the tour. Our piece was again, well received. On the way back to the hotel Friday night, I smiled at a job well done. I offer up my right hand for a high-five, and Mackenzie asks, "What's the high-five for?" I say, "Yay! We finished our little tour! I'm happy." Now we get to go back to our regular lives for a while, as our next performance isn't until the end of March.

Upon arriving back to Greensboro (Robert's and my new home!), I have the pleasure of taking a voice lesson with Barbara. It has been months since I've studied with her, but we seem to pick up right where we left off. A wonderful time. Barbara has been studying to get her Doctorate, and she tries some new exercises during our lesson. Some new words to sing, some new breathing exercises, and new anatomy talk. I love it! An aside, Angelo, Barbara's husband is from Italy, and gives me some advice to take on our trip. I am only too grateful for his insight!

To round out my evening tonight, I meet another Cara here in Greensboro for talk about artistic collaboration! Cara is a cinematographer and former dancer. We seem to hit it off really well, and I can't wait to talk with her more. Both she and I are interested in expanding our dance/film horizons. She wants to work with more choreographers/directors, and I want to work with other DP's and engage in new types of processes. I explain to her what mine and Brett's (my cinematographer and friend for four years) process usually entails. I show her some of our work, and we then discuss the new things we might like to try with each other. I feel optimistic!

Tomorrow is to be another long day in the HPU theater, rehearsing parts for Millie. Since it is Super Bowl Sunday, I have heard a bit of grumbling over the timing of the rehearsal. But, I am the bestest teacher ever. I promised a few students I'd order wings during dinner break to soften the blow. Crunch, crunch. This is the sound of my next week beginning.

Good night, all.

~Cara

"M" to the Third

It has been a few days since I have posted; Robert and I have been in the process of moving to a new apartment! How hectic it has been, though the situation has done nothing to slow down the speed of my art life.

This past weekend was a beautiful one. The sun was out, the temperature was agreeable, and Mackenzie and I were in Raleigh for the second to last performance of the NC Dance Festival tour. I began the weekend by teaching a master class at Meredith College for Women on Friday. Though it was a short class, it was so very enjoyable! The students were wonderful; enthusiastic and energetic. For the first time in what seems like forever, I was given the gift of live music for this class. It was amazing to hear the percussion, so close to my ear, and to see the students moving about to its vibrations. I miss having live music around. What's more, I felt absolutely adept, and comfortable in the class. With the recent challenge of teaching my current ballet class at HPU (which is the most experientially disparate class I have ever taught), I have as of late, felt less than expert at my profession. It was nice to feel good about what I have to offer. The students certainly enjoyed themselves, and the end of class was a wash of hugs, hand shakes and thank-you's.

Our performance Saturday night went equally as well. There were no snags in our performance to speak of, and I thoroughly enjoyed my time on stage. As we left the theater, many audience members commented on their appreciation and excitement regarding our piece, "Words Apart." Many said it was their favorite piece of the evening, and more still admitted to shedding tears. It has been strange, receiving such praise for the piece where ever we go to perform it, but still, I have had much trouble getting the piece into festivals in NYC and abroad. Maybe it doesn't translate outside of the South? I don't know. But, I plan to continue to submit the piece, in hopes of having it live on just a while longer in our repertory.

On Sunday, it was a long rehearsal at HPU for Millie. We all made it through the day, but it was obvious that everyone was getting tired and frustrated! They want to be challenged, they don't want to be challenged, they think I'm moving too fast, or not fast enough. Again, the frustration of the students brings about my insecurities. In a whirl, I created steps for the students, and as soon as one phrase was done, it was out of my head, and I was on to another. I barely remember what happened on Sunday, and how everything got done. I am happy moving into this week of rehearsal, though. All of the large group numbers are finished. This will leave us plenty of time to clean and polish!

Well, here I am again, sitting in my cave, AKA the Pauline Theater at HPU waiting for the start of another rehearsal. Yesterday's rehearsal went well, and though Sunday was not completely forgot, the students seemed in better spirits. Today, we run the numbers we have with the accompanist, a wonderful step forward. I can't wait to hear the students sing while they dance! Then after rehearsal, I will lay down in my same old bed, but in my new place.

~Cara