Live Music Again

I began my day at the studio, and came to find myself creating a bit of phrase work in a comfortable, electric head-space, that made me feel satisfied. I am hoping that I am finally out of my funk. Only the coming days will tell...

At the River Run Film festival headquarters, the staff is absolutely buzzing with the quick-approaching celebrations. I myself, am looking forward to enjoying a few of the films and events planned for this year's expanded festival.

Filling in for a second day at the NC School of the Arts for my friend, Rachel, I think on what a luxury live music is in the dance studio. I rarely have the opportunity to teach or rehearse to live music anymore, and these past few days have reminded me of how much I miss it. Jefferson, the piano player, did for us the most lovely mixture of rich chords and rhythmic play. He also played hand drum for us, which really got the kids moving! This was the first time I have ever used live music in a creative movement class, and it made for such a wonderful addition to the experiences of the games we played. Jefferson changed mood and dynamic at just the right times, so as to encourage the children in the class to use their bodies differently and engage with the music in new ways. I love that. How little these children realize how lucky they are! I only hope they will grow up and remember what an impact the music has had on their dance experience. I hope also, that they will have an equal amount of respect for dance and music, and an understanding of how they inform each other.

~Cara

Teaching Today

A day of teaching, and being taught today was. At HPU things are really coming together for the end of the semester. The students have grown in many ways throughout our many weeks together, and much of the material we've been working on all term is finally coming together in their bodies. I gather that the students have enjoyed their time with me, thought they are all ready for summer to come. Funny. Spring just started!

At my singing lesson, I attempted to sing some songs I got sheet music for online. I was not at all surprised to find out that I did not do a great job of picking music for my voice. Yet another skill i must acquire. however, I continue to make progress with my exercises, and I am very much enjoying the process of learning more about my voice! We worked mostly on chest voice and mid-range exercises today, which seem to be difficult areas for me. However, Barbara, my teacher is very encouraging, and assures me that it is slowly, but surely getting better!

This evening, I filled in for my friend, Rachel at the NC School of the Arts Preparatory Program. The girls in the class were around ten years old, and were a joy to teach today! Their behavior and enthusiasm were unmatched by the groups of students I teach at some of the other studios around the area. Oddly enough though, some of the girls in today's class attend some of the classes at the private studios, as well. When I recognized the girls, I expected their behavior would be unruly, as I am used to experiencing them. However, everyone was great! I guess it only takes a change of environment to inform a child of how they are to behave. Obviously, Rachel has been doing a fabulous job, and I think the conservatory aspect of the school, which has many serious, older role models to follow is a huge influence on the younger girls.

Busy day tomorrow, more then!

~Cara

A Little bit of Everything

No dancing today, but a host of other arts make this rainy day worth while. I spent my morning writing poetry, mostly for my MFA course work, but some for myself, too. I completed a series of short poems entitled, "The Wild Child Chronicles," and I am eager to know more about this character, as she unfolds in my mind. From what I know at this moment, she is spontaneous and adventurous, but she feels deeply and is empathetic towards others.

In the afternoon, I teach my Sunday yoga class to a full room. I challenge the students some, and have them rest some. I was surprised to have so many people in class today, given the glum exterior, but perhaps everyone thought there was no better reason to come to yoga! Today, I had the thought that I no longer like teaching yoga for money. I wish i was at a point in my life where I could just share it as it is supposed to be shared: an exchange of experience and energy that involves the spiritual currency, not US Dollars. It is something I have been feeling for a while now, but am not yet at a point where I can offer my time for no charge...one day.

I met briefly with my friend Diana after yoga, who is a photographer. I have been modeling for her for just a few sessions now, but she feels she's yielded some very satisfactory work from our time together. Today we attempt to shoot outside, but it is too cold and the rain only gets harder. After only about an hour, we decide to wrap it up, and try for a warmer, sunnier day later in the week.

This evening was the highlight of my day. I arrived at my friend Vanessa's house around 6:30pm, and we cooked dinner together. She made the chicken parmesan and I made the stuffed shells! CJ came, and brought salad, wine and bread. A perfect menu for a perfect girl's night! It felt good to cook. I haven't cooked anything substantial in lord knows how long, and it made me feel crafty! I even have left-overs to eat for dinner tomorrow!

G'night!

~Cara

Beautiful Music and a Block!

Yesterday evening, I had the privilege of experiencing the most lovely music performance! The piece, entitled, "Songs in the Rear View Mirror," was written by composer Ken Frazelle in response to a collection of photographs taken by photographer William Christenberry. All of the photos are of buildings and locations found in Hale County, Alabama. Performed by Mr. Frazelle, himself on the piano, in collaboration with Lauralyn Dosset, a vocalist, the piece emerged ultimately out of a road trip the two musicians took to view the locations seen in Christenberry's photographs.

The music heard in the performance was a wash of beautiful melodic layers and percussive sensibility. I can't say enough about Mr. Frazelle's playing, which was luscious, dynamic, tactile, and at times, absolutely haunting. Mrs. Dossett's singing was a wonderful addition to the piano. At times, the quality of her voice made you feel as if these songs could be sang to you by your own mother. At other times, her voice was strong, clear, and commanded the space in the theater. The words written by Mr. Frazelle were works of art in their own right, each a poetic work that would be just as enjoyable to hear as spoken word.

The photo exhibition is currently hanging at the Reynolda House Museum here in Winston Salem, and I must make time to view it this coming week! The musicians showed a slide show of their own trip, and some of the places that appeared in the photographs, and I can see why the music has so many layers and nuances. Each location was hauntingly beautiful.

After all of that lovely creativity last evening, I am frustrated to say that I am officially having a dancer's block. :-( For all that I thought I was finding my way with this new little piece, I am absolutely stuck! I realize that these past few months have yielded an incredible amount of new work, and I think my psyche just can't fathom making another piece at the moment...but I have no choice! So what to do now? Sit on the project until I'm ready to go with it? When I have an idea, generally I can work pretty fast. But there is something about getting something done before I absolutely have to that is kind of appealing. Should I venture out during the next week or two and find some inspiration? I haven't a clue where to start, and shoving inspiration into my brain against its will does not always work. shall I begin with some other form of art, and see what happens? I've been writing a lot...maybe I could base some dance off of some stories, or poetry. Should I just bring a whole bunch of stuff to the studio tomorrow? Costumes, props, new music, etc, and see what comes out? *sigh* I'll let you know when I figure it out...

Here's hoping,

~Cara

Freedom and Power

Almost the end of the week, and I feel like I am making great progress with my current endeavors. Today in the dance studio, I felt a strong urge to begin my warm up with singing! The dance studio is such a reverberant space, and it is so much fun to hear the sound bouncing around, off the walls and traveling through the air spaces in the loft space above the studio floor, and the many doors and hallways that lead to bathrooms and other studios. Once I felt I'd had my fill of crooning to no one but my own reflection, I began to dance. I have had many false beginnings with the piece I'm currently working on, which at this point, is still an abstract work in my mind. However, I think today, I have finally settled on a few movements that will begin the piece. I have been experimenting with the tension that the music I am using makes me feel in my body, which at the same time makes me want to groove. Finding the play between these two feelings is the trick!

And now, some exciting news! Today, I have completed the second of two interviews scheduled this week so that I may complete my articles for Sunday's submission! Submission to what, you might ask? To the online magazine, La Vie Cherie (The Cherished Life)! I have only just been hired by this magazine, which focuses on fashion, lifestyle, travel, the arts, wellness, and other things. The magazine encourages readers to find substance from within, so there are no frivolous articles about who in Hollywood is dating who, or what big designer so-and-so was wearing at the VMA's, etc. There are articles about inspirational women, emerging fashion designers, books and movies, good causes and projects, and a whole host of other topics. You might just need to check it out: www.lvcmag.com

This new venture is both a wonderful opportunity and a bit scary. Until recently, I have not been in the habit of sharing my writing with others. This job writing for the magazine will give me plenty of practice writing for the masses, and give me an excellent platform for me to polish my skills as a writer. I'm very excited to move forward with this vigorous new practice, which requires that I submit material for publication at the end of each and every week!

I must tell you, each time I add a new dimension to my developing practice as an artist, I feel more and more free to express myself in any way I see fit. Sometimes, dance alone just won't do it. Perhaps words are needed, or music, or a cinematic touch. I don't think one should feel trapped by their "specialty." The world has so much to learn in it. And if one keeps their mind open, and they are willing to fail and try again and again, there is no reason that person should not feel able to excel at anything! All of this art I can do makes me feel powerful, and more willing to take on those things that frighten me. Heck. If I can open my mouth to sing, and surprise myself by what comes out, or write what I feel and have someone sit up and notice enough for them to offer me a job, or make a short film that has traveled across the USA with no training, who is to say I can't make paintings, or create a new multimedia show, or any other thing I might want to do? This is why I do art. There is so much to say and share with my communities, and so many different ways to say and share the wealth!

~Cara

Sound and Smell

Big sounds and pungent smells filled my ears and nose today. As I walked through downtown in the gorgeous weather, delivering marketing materials for the River Run Film Festival, fire trucks with blaring sirens zoomed by, and the train passed over Patterson Ave with thunderous rumbles. The sound of metal scraping over metal as the wheels rolled along the track pierced through the air like sharp swords. My chest vibrated as the large sound waves passed through my body with each new racket.

This afternoon, for the first time since being a child, helping my father pull weeds, I worked in a garden. I was immediately struck by the lovely smell of the earth itself, mixed with sweet nectar, and enticing herbs. There were so many plants in this garden, and I was introduced to all of them! The garden of which I am speaking belongs to Jan, and she has a real talent for growing plants. She understands how plants interact with the plants that surround them, the earth they are planted in and the weather. She knows how each and every plant smells and what they are good for, to eat, to look at, to heal, etc. Jan helped me make my first herb garden, to take home in a rather large pot. in my garden, there is thyme, oregano, mint, lemon balm and garlic chives! It smells amazing, and I can't wait to use them for my cooking. I hope only that they will continue to thrive under my care. Jan has assured me that these plants are "hard to kill." I believe what she says, but I hope I don't prove her wrong!

~Cara

Singing!

All in all, today turned out to be a successful day! I finished the phrase work that my HPU students will be showing for their final, an informal workshop performance next month, I got quite a bit of reading done for my school work, I taught an entire evening of classes at Dancer's Edge in Kernersville, filling in for another teacher and I had a wonderful singing lesson this afternoon!

I have been studying with my instructor, Barbara for only a few months. However, I am slowly now coming to understand how I must train the muscles in my body to allow me to sing with ease and clarity. She has me do a whole host of interesting exercises, with straws, resistance bands, wooden sticks, weighted balls, etc. to trick me into doing what is most correct for the body...and into singing on pitches I wouldn't normally even attempt! And in addition to singing, the work has made teaching dance easier for me! Generally, when I teach, my voice gets extremely tired. Learning to breathe and project in a more efficient manner has helped my speaking voice enormously! Today, I think I made some real progress. I found some muscles I did not know I had (odd, coming from a dancer, but these are tiny ones!) and I sang out in such a way that I actually felt my ears pop a little, and vibrate. I guess I don't really know how to explain the sensation in my ears today, but when it happened, my voice opened up tremendously! Barbara said that I was doing so well today, that she wants me to bring an actual song to sing at our next lesson. I thought it would be many more months before she asked me to bring music to our session! I'm considering just a few songs to begin with, one of which is, "It's a Good Day," as sung by Peggy Lee. I have always loved this song, and though it may not strike many as the kind of song you would take to sing at your music lesson, it is one I know well and feel I will without a doubt, be able to hit all of the notes in it!

Good night!

~Cara

Professional Change

Does being a professional artist change the experience of making art? Well, sure it does. When we are children, we make art whenever and however our hearts desire. The only payment we expect is to have our work hung in the refrigerator gallery, or the applause of our friends and family at the living room theatre. When we become teenagers, most of us are aware that we can turn a profit by doing what we love, and many of us begin to choose educational paths that will lead to that end. As young adults, we think we are prepared for what it is to be a professional artist, but we quickly find out there is so much more to it than anyone ever let on, or should I say, much more to it than we were ever willing to hear. I remember the jolt of being on my own for the first time, expecting that my dancing was going to support me stably, comfortably, and immediately. I always told myself that I was never going to be a "starving artist." Little did I know that I was going to have to climb the ladder, just like everyone else. And climb, I did: with many undesirable jobs to support my art habit that included restaurant work, working with young children, retail, desk work, volunteer work for dance and art organizations to "get my foot in the door," and so on, and so forth. When I finally made the decision that I was going to make art my only source of income for good, I was in for a wild ride!

I quickly found out that to work as a freelance artist, I had to give up much of the precious time I would spend on a given project to meet deadlines. I had to listen to the input of collaborators or clients that were not artists. I had to go places I did not want to go. I had to make stuff I didn't even like. Sounds awful, doesn't it? But it's not awful. This is probably one of the best things that has ever happened to me. Because of all the unexpected curve balls, crazy hours, difficult collaborators and half-realized visions, I have learned more about my artistic process than any one person could ever teach me. I understand that sometimes, the unexpected curve balls are what saves a piece of work. I understand that not every single work you make needs to be a masterpiece. I understand the value of collaboration and that sometimes, the work is more about connecting with others, than it is about making great art. And most of all, I have learned to be grateful for the opportunity to do what I love everyday. With becoming professional, my personal process has become more efficient, which means I can create a greater volume of work over the course of a season. It has helped me to see a problem from all sides, and to be more objective. I now know how to deal with fear in my work. When someone is paying you to make something that scares you, you just do it!

Often, I wonder how it would be to just have my art as a hobby, where no one is pressuring me to get something done by a certain date, or how it would be to not have to rely on my work to pay the bills. I feel frantic, sometimes, and pile on more than I can really handle. I worry when gigs fall through, and get disappointed when an application for a festival or residency gets turned down. But for some reason, I keep coming back. I keep showing up to rehearsal, writing my proposals and performing my work. The truth is, I find it exhilarating! I think being professional for many of us, brings us to the next level of our making, and helps us tap into parts of us we never knew were there. I'm confident that I will find the time in my life to make art in a leisurely fashion. Until the, I look forward to continued growth and opportunity!

~Cara

Serene Saturday...Spring is Here!

Spring has finally arrived! And on this first glorious day of spring, I find many ways to enjoy my time, unstructured. In the studio this morning, I work my muscles and make more material for the short piece I am working on. I feel I am getting close to having a solid bit of phrase work from which to base all other material for the piece. As I dance today, I realize again (as I often do), that one cannot force the process! I have to be happy with whatever work has been done at any given point, as long as it was done in earnest. Every day in the studio is a small accomplishment, which should in some way, be celebrated. Whether that may be with a proverbial pat on the back for a job well done, a little extra time to stretch at the end of rehearsal or Cold Stone after a good work out!

Today, I did make it over to Cold Stone for my usual: mint, with chocolate shavings and graham cracker crust mixed in. Last spring and summer, I was at Cold Stone so often, that the staff knew me by name, and exactly what I wanted. As there is every year, there has been a changing of the guard, as it were, so none of these youngsters today knew my name, or my order. But they will soon be up to speed!

After the ice cream, Robert and I ventured to the park for the first time in a great while, to collect sounds for our collection. Robert is a sound engineer, and loves sounds more than any one person I have ever met. He is fascinated with how waves travel through the air, and how sound can be manipulated. He loves both natural sounds and industrial sounds. He hears beauty everywhere he goes. My time with Robert always reminds me how much sound is filling our ears at any given moment, and how much of that sound we simply ignore. The faint rustling of leaves on the street, the persistent baying of a dog a mile away, the jolted sound of car wheels over a man hole the innumerable languages of the birds perched overhead, and the bouncing echo of hammers on hard walls. It is clear that much of man's inspiration for what we call music comes from our own environment, and our need to imitate sounds within it.

At this moment, I have just finished an amazing amount of reading for school. I am learning about African mythology, and parts of it that survived the middle passage, to become Afro-American folklore. It seems as though the one concept that has survived most prominently is that of the trickster in both oral traditions and literature. This trickster is all knowing in many respects, and in all of his incarnations, is a mediator between man and his Gods. Whether he is called Esu, Legba, papa La Bas or simply, The Monkey, he is the character who acts as the ultimate translator, and has a hand in what men will have chaos in their lives, and what men will have luck or prosperity.

More later!

~Cara

Film Day!

Today has definitely been a day for film! I spent much of the day today at River Run, where we are in full swing before April's festival. Finalizing lists and helping to make arrangements for various events leading up to the festival, one can really feel the tension in the place at this point in time. Everyone is running around, talking fast and making lists! Documents are being passed from palm, to palm, and palm again. Arrangements are being finalized for festival guests to arrive, and soon, a few hundred people will sign up to volunteer with the festival and their schedules will have to be made. Among all this chaos, I acknowledge that my dance film was shown today in Utah, at Weber University for the ACDFA Dance For Camera Showcase! Though I could not be there in body, I was definitely there in spirit! I'm so proud of our little film!

This evening, I attended a road show for River Run in Kernersville. The River Run road shows are to show previews of various films, answer questions anyone might have and promote the festival in areas where it is likely patronage will come from. The event was truly lovely. It was held at a venue called, The Factory, which is exactly what it sounds like: A converted factory building with many feet of space for offices, shops and open meeting and party spaces. The floors are old, textured wood and the walls are cinder block and brick. The windows are large, with smaller square panes dividing them into symmetric parts. It seems a perfect, raw space in which to show films. The features reel shows trailers of various films from many different countries. There are film in Spanish, French, German, and English, of course. They range in genres from drama, to dark comedy, to documentary and so on. I am eager to see every single one of them! The shorts reel is the same. There are many more animated films in the shorts program than in the features program, and they look amazing. Each and every one looks so different from the one before it, and the colors are so beautiful in all of them! As for other genres of films in the shorts program, one documentary in particular caught my attention. There is a man who has spent his entire life collecting vinyl records. He has the largest record collection in the world, over a million! The sad thing is that he ran a store based on this collection, that closed in 2008. He claims that the world has its ears closed. And that no one cares about music anymore. His theory is that it will take maybe 20 years for people to wake up and understand what they are missing because of replacing vinyl with digital media. His hope was that he would be able to help preserve music for future generations, but that notion looks nearly impossible, now that his amazing archive, full of discontinued and unreleased music is doing nothing but collecting dust.

~Cara

Teaching Again

Today marks the end of my first week back teaching my classes at HPU since Goddard and spring break. I realize one of the reasons I enjoy teaching so much is that I get to know my students, and they all bring me joy for very individual reasons. I have seen one of my students absolutely blossom this week. I was not sure about her when we began class this semester, as she is extremely shy, stands in the back of the class everyday and has not had very much dance prior to my class. She stood in the back as usual this week, and has said few words, but I can tell she is listening to the information I am giving her and the rest of the class. I notice that she is beginning to bring awareness into her limbs and making the connection between her body and mind. Just lovely! The few gentlemen in my class make me laugh each and every class! The three men that I have are each outspoken, goofy and charming in their own way. One is particularly enthusiastic about learning to dance, one lets his frustration get the better of him most of the time and one is an absolute clown! I teach a sweet freshman, who has had plenty of dance training in her life and is always ready to help other students learn steps. She is always smiling, attentive and respectful. And another of my students is always asking questions to make sure she has the steps just right. She often films me teaching the phrase work on her phone, so she can practice at home! I could go on about all of my students, one by one, but this would turn into a very long post! All this to say, I'm happy to be back in the presence of my students!

After teaching today, I meet one of my Storyline colleagues at Salem College to finalize our choice on which space we will use. However, we ultimately left without a final decision, because the committee has differing views on what the turn out for the event will be. I have strong feeling for one space in particular, and made my feelings clear, but I must wait for the rest of the committee to come to a decision. Time is wearing thin, and I am worried that by the time the committee does reach a decision, the few spaces available in the city might be given over to more decisive parties.

To round out my evening, I went to Brett's house to edit my documentary. Equipped with the pictures I got from Jan and all the feedback from Goddard, we made some great strides towards cleaning the piece and incorporating elements into the piece that will make it complete. I feel confident at this point, that with a few more focused sessions like the one we had today, we will be finished with the film within the month. I'm so excited!

~Cara

All work, no play today.

All work and no play today, and sadly, no time in the studio! I began the day with a little trip to the dentist that left the right side of my face completely numb, looking like I'd had a stroke and drooling! With my slump-face, I went straight to the car dealership and shop, where I had my car serviced. The time waiting for my car proved to be useful in getting some of my reading done for school. I began reading a book called, "The Signifying Monkey," by Henry Louis Gates, Jr. The book is on the theory of African American literary criticism, using the recurring theme of the trickster in African and Afro-American oral traditions as a basis for discourse. I won't say too much about the book yet, as I have only scratched the surface of all the information and insight this book has to offer.

At River Run today, I carried banners, signs, wine, glasses, and other things up and down the stairs of the building on fourth street. I worked to clean out a large closet in the lobby in preparation for next month's festival and learned some interesting things about some of the people I've been working with. I met one of our volunteers today, named Peggy, who has completed 6,000 hours of community service in the state of North Carolina! It is amazing to hear her speak of all the work she has done, on her own time away from the daycare center she works at, and how gracious she is to be involved in her community. She is humble, as well, but has won awards for her service and even has a sash and tiara she won as the 2010 US Global Classic Ms. for NC! And Jenny, who is working with the River Run Festival this year as the publicity coordinator, is a fashion entrepreneur! She has her own company, which produces a line of clothing that is both cute and eco-friendly! She does everything, from designing the clothes, to marketing her line, to public relations, to distribution. Goes to show, you never know who you are talking to!

My day ends with a Storyline Committee meeting, where we continue to discuss the logistics of our One Year Anniversary Event. It has been decided that the event will be held at Salem College for sure, and that we are pairing down the evening's performance offerings to only include my dance piece and documentary, which are in keeping with the concept of art created in reaction to the stories collected over the last year. There will be an introduction given and a musical transition included, to make the show flow well. I am much more comfortable with the decision to do a smaller event that we had originally planned. It will be sweet, intimate and a great place to begin with plans to expand an annual event in the future.

Must get to bed soon, teaching tomorrow morning!

~Cara

Benefit in Mount Airy

I left the house at 4pm to avoid the rush hour traffic that is characteristic of Highway 52 to make sure I had enough time to find the restaurant where this evening's benefit was to take place. And sure enough, with Misty's help (yes, I've given my GPS a name), I became lost. Amongst the cows and dead end streets, I couldn't possibly be going in the right direction! However, I was only a few minutes away from where I needed to be, in downtown Mount Airy. As always, I was the first person on the scene. The restaurant, called The Bisrto, was delightful. A full, visible wine selection, warm wooden floors, and high ceilings made this venue feel like someplace out of a different city than little Mount Airy.

Around 6pm, people began to show up: friends and supporters of Heather, for whom the benefit was being held, local performers, and a few folks who just happened upon the place. Heather has just had surgery for breast cancer, but has no health insurance. The benefit will help her to pay her medical costs. The evening began with some country and gospel music, as people waited in line to choose from the buffet, what kind of pasta they wanted to eat. Music was followed by storytelling and a short ballet/story piece made by my friend, Linda, who is the Artistic Director of Mount Airy Dance Theater. The piece, called "My Great Aunt Arizona," is an adaptation of a lovely children's book of the same name, and features a cast of three very talented dancers. The story is narrated by Terry, a woman who's voice is clear and soothing. The story follows a girl named Arizona, who grows up to teach generations of students in the very school house she once went to school in. The piece is a delightful presentation that was well received by people of all ages!

After Linda's piece, there are more storytellers, poets, and a man who sings a beautiful jazz rendition of "If I Only Had A Brain" from the Wizard of Oz. A group of actors and singers perform a Ceilidhs, pronounced "kay-lee," which is a Celtic word for "gathering." Songs are sung, stories are told and traditional Irish dances are performed. And finally, it is my turn to perform! I rehearsed a little section from my play, "Lost and Found," and everyone really seemed to enjoy it! I got people clapping and snapping along with me, repeating the nursery rhyme from the play and having a great time! Heather's mother told me that I was a "breath of fresh air." And the Mayor of Mount Airy said the I was "the best dancer she'd ever seen!" I thought it was a lot of fun to perform in a non-theatrical context...I had to think on my feet, to re-space and improvise the dance sections for a very non-traditional space, as well as perform and engage with people scattered 360 degrees around me!

On the way home, I thought about the conversation Heather's mom and I had about participating in community events like this one. She explained to me how she has always made an effort to do good deeds for others out in the community, but how she felt embarrassed at first to ask for such an event to happen for her own family. She then explained how that feeling only lasted a few moments, when she realized that this is how a community should work. You never know if you are going to be the next person to need help. I thoroughly agreed. And I thought back to all the things I've done in my community lately; giving cans to the food pantry, volunteering at the mental health association, working with various constituents of my community to do art...and I think to myself that one day, I might need someone else's help, and I am glad to be of service!

Memories and More

Yesterday evening, I made one more step towards finishing my documentary. I made a visit to Jan's house, and she allowed me to pick out some photographs of Dan and her mother to use in the film. It was a lovely time, as the moment Jan opened up a photo album, memories came gushing out of her! And such wonderful memories they were: Her mother as a young woman, Jan as a cute five-year-old, the weekend Dan proposed, bad hairdos of the ages, Dan and Jan's wedding day, Jan and Dan drunk in Italy, the birth of Jan and Dan's daughter, and the summer before Dan died. Jan spoke on each topic with excitement and nostalgia, even reveling in the most embarrassing photos of herself with giddy pleasure and wonder. She had so many stories. And I wish I could have stayed to hear them all. When Robert(who accompanied me on the visit) and I finally became conscious of the time, we realized we had been with Jan for over three hours! What a lovely way to end the weekend!

This morning, a canceled 8:30am session with a private yoga client left me extra time to spend at the studio, which was most needed. Just yesterday, I was asked to perform at a dinner theater benefit in Mount Airy tomorrow night! The benefit is for a woman who has just had major surgery, but does not have health insurance. The hope is that this benefit will significantly drop the amount of money this woman owes to the health care system. I simply could not turn down the offer. I can't imagine having to go through an ordeal like that. Being sick, stressed and strapped for cash does not sound like my idea of the American Dream. As an artist, it is always my hope that I can use my talents to help others, and sure enough, opportunities seem to always present themselves. I have decided to do an excerpt from my play,"Lost and Found." I thought it too short notice to ask the percussionist in the piece to join me in the performance, as he is in school and last minute events can be hard for him to commit to. So, I rehearsed today by myself, making a few changes to the material to make it work for just one person. I am excited to be revisiting the material again, after a few short months of being away from it.

In other news, I have received word that my dance film, "Two Downtown," has been selected for a dance for camera showing this Friday in Ogden, Utah at Weber University. This afternoon, I sent of two data disks to the festival, as many festivals do not like to show DVD's. They are difficult sometimes. I felt the notice was a little late, given that they desire the files before Friday, and I got word just Saturday that our film had been chosen. However, I am overjoyed that we have two film festivals on the docket so far(the Indie Grits Festival in SC being the other one), and I said, as I was applying the film to all the festivals, that I would be ecstatic to get just one festival. Maybe we'll get three, then I'll be SUPER excited! And I have to say, I have had mixed feelings about this particular film. But perhaps my feelings are unfounded. Obviously, someone likes it.

To round out my day today, I distributed posters for the River Run Film Festival in the beautiful weather, and I ended my day by giving a beautiful yoga class. We did a very slow, contemplative flow with keen focus on the breath and moving through transitions between poses with mindfulness. Tomorrow, I am back teaching at HPU after their spring break. I hope the students have remembered all of their material. And I must remember to gear up for the coming month, which will be wrought with summer fever. It happens every year...everyone just wants to go on vacation! The home stretch is always the hardest, and I have to admit, I am often guilty of having similar sentiments! Summer is always good to me, and this one is extra special...because my wedding is this summer! I can't wait!

~Cara

Poetry and Other Things

I did not post yesterday, as I took a small rest from the studio to spend some much needed time with my family. Of course, coming from a family full of artists, we can never get together and not talk at least a little about art!

Today however, is a different story. I woke up to the realization that today is daylight savings, and had one less hour to prepare myself to head to the dance studio before teaching my Sunday yoga class. At the studio, I worked up a wonderful sweat, as I let my music sink into my being and move my limbs. I incorporated some new spinal exercises that I have been working on, as well as delving into an expanded repertoire of micro movement exercises for the pelvis, spine and ribcage. I worked with the notion of relaxation in contrast to holding certain sets of muscles to create the desired effect in my joints. I love how these minuscule movements can cultivate such a change in my body. I feel properly stacked, strong and more efficient in my larger movements after practicing the exercises I have created for myself.

I have also been working on my poetry, moving along to finish and polish my "Treatise on Love Making." I worked with the poem a bit more with movement during my studio time today. In addition to writing, I have begun reading some poetry for my school work, which I realize I have not yet addressed since I've been home from Goddard. This semester, one of the topics I am studying is poetry; its structure, style and various notable poets of the last century. My hope is that my own work as an emerging poet will grow as a result, that it will gain a new maturity and clarity that I feel I only achieve some of the time. Since the book I ordered full of the work of Maya Angelou has not yet arrived in the mail, I decided to begin with Gwendolyn Brooks. Her poems are full of truths about society and the human condition, and more specifically, the African American condition of her time, which still rings true in many regards today. Her work is the kind of work that "gets to the bottom of things," and encourages the readers of her work to be keen observers of the people and circumstances that surround them. I notice her use of not only rhythm in her work, but how she meticulously scatters the words on the page to get the desired feel and nuance across in her poems. Some of the poems are straight from right to left. Some of the poems seem to jump all over the page. I have often thought about how poetry, as a literary art, throws away so many of the conventional rules of writing, but still requires the most intimate understanding of the language in which one writes, and how that language is used, understood and generally written. And I recognize that poetry is as much a visual art form, as it is an oral form and a literary form.

The coming week will be a full one. Thus, I plan to use the rest of this beautiful Sunday to read, write and enjoy the company of my fiancee and my cat!

~Cara

Understanding

I don't think there will be a day soon when artists don't have to explain themselves to those who claim they don't understand art. At the same time, I am baffled at the notion that people don't more fully identify with the concept of, and reasons for making art. This week, I have found myself in numerous situations, where I have been asked to explain exactly what it is I do. And when I have elaborated on my collective experience as an artist, I have been met with interest, in addition to comments along the lines of, "I am not artistic...I could never do anything like that!" However, I feel these types of statements are completely untrue! I want to tell everyone who thinks they cannot engage in an artistic experience that one does not need to be "talented," or "professional" to reap the benefits and revel in the joy art can bring.

I think too much of our culture is concerned with outcomes and pleasing others. And I think we forget about nourishing ourselves. Art is a constructive way to treat ourselves well; better than eating a whole box of cookies in front of the television, for instance. And we know that story all too well! At first, the cookies are great, then twenty minutes later, we're sick of them, and we've accomplished nothing but that sugary film on our teeth and a slight nauseous feeling in our stomachs! If nothing else, art gets us away from our televisions, computers and cell phones and puts us in touch with our true selves. When we put art in this context, should one have to be "talented," or "professional" to explore their own soul?

I am convinced that when more people allow themselves to discover their own aesthetics and deeply explore their relationship with shapes, colors, sounds, etc., our society will be filled with people who are more sensitive to each other and the world around them. It is my hope that through my continued work and the work of my fellow artists, we can demystify the process and encourage others to forge their own path with confidence in their thoughts and ideas and an understanding that art really is a universal language of souls.

Today is Thursday.

Today was a day full of artistic activity. I got up bright and early, to meet Jan so I could film her installing her sculpture at hospice. It turned out to be both a joyous and bittersweet occasion, with plenty of hugs and kind words shared between friends and acquaintances. The counseling staff at hospice truly loved Jan's work, and were absorbed with the depth and complexity of the piece. Jan explained the significance of various parts of the sculpture to the staff, and they listened intently and continued to admire the piece, using words like, "wow," and "amazing." A man climbed up on a ladder, and focused a light on the sculpture to make it fully visible to all the visitors that pass through their doors. There will be a framed document hung above the piece, so visitors will know why it resides in the hall of the hospice counseling center. I have to admit, I was afraid to go into hospice, afraid of what I might see: sad families, sick patients, confused children. However, Jan put my fear to rest as she explained how during her husband's ordeal, hospice became a kind of sanctuary for her. And she was right. Once I walked into the doors, it was immediately apparent that hospice is a place where people come to find comfort and the strength to endure difficult life situations with the help of others.

Hours prior to my experience at hospice with Jan today, I was awake in my bed, with a poem bubbling in my head. I have since written out a draft of the poem, which is to be a treatise on how a man should make love to a woman. Despite what you may be thinking, the poem is very sweet, and I experimented with the poem, integrated with movement today during my time at the dance studio. I played some music with a good deal of silence and space in between the notes, and experimented with where words would go, and where movement would go. It felt lovely. However, I have in my mind, fears about the possibility of presenting work on a topic that may not be appropriate for all ages. I am afraid about what people might think. What if they don't think the poem is as sweet as I do? What if they don't take interest in the rhythm of the words, and the blend of movement, music and dictation? Since this is making me uncomfortable, this might mean that I should move into this new territory and invite the challenge of making this piece with the artistic standards that I hold myself to.

This afternoon, I get an e-mail from a representative from the Guilford County School System, confirming Scott and my presence at the history teacher's event on April 9th. We have come to a consensus on the contract amount, and we are so excited! If all goes well, we will get some in-school performances for the 2010/2011 school year.

The only bad event of the day was an e-mail I received in regards to a week-long workshop Mackenzie and I were supposed to conduct in Fayetteville in early April. Due to low enrollment, the workshop has been canceled, and we have to say goodbye to a good chunk of much-needed money for that month. Sometimes, being a freelance artist is risky, and you cannot always count on what you've been promised, even if you've signed a contract. Now, the best thing we can do is to try to find a few smaller things in April to make up for the loss. However, nothing is a guarantee.

Concerning my yoga teaching today, I began private sessions with a new client. her name is Betty, and she is wonderful. She is my first elderly client, but she took to the poses I gave her with grace and ease. We do most of our work on a chair, with the help of blocks and straps, to make the poses appropriate for the needs of her body. Though this is only her first yoga experience ever, she immediately decides she would like to do more, and makes another appointment with me for Monday.

More tomorrow.

~Cara

Learning curve

I have decided to take a break from fiddling with the Sony EX-1 camera I am to use tomorrow to shoot the last shots of the documentary to write this post! The camera I was using before today was sent in for a simple repair, and came back completely broken...so Brett, my usual cinematographer and editor has allowed me to borrow this precious treasure. The buttons, and placement of the buttons are completely different than the other camera. It has more functions and more settings than the other camera, and it is much heavier! Subsequently, I have been chasing my poor cat around all evening, using her as my subject as I acclimate myself to this unfamiliar tool.

One of the most challenging aspects of being an artist of many mediums is the constant learning curve. New equipment means new skills to learn. New spaces means new spatial patterns to learn. New scripts mean new words to memorize. Of course, the list goes on. Have you yet learned to rig a harness from the ceiling? Have you learned to sew the hem of a dress, or much less sew an entire costume? Have you learned the next most ingenious way to stuff all of your gig gear into the car? No? Well I haven't either...yet. However, all of these things are on the horizon, and one by one, I will learn to do them all! I invite the challenge of learning something new in a short period of time, as it gives my brain a good jolt. Some people do puzzles. I do art. Solving these problems makes me feel powerful and fearless. Every time I master a new skill, I feel more free to take bigger and bigger risks. Some people may not see it this way, but we artists are thrill seekers of a different sort. An adrenaline rush to us might be painting an entire set over one night, and standing back to admire it in the morning before the show goes up that very evening.

Challenge, to me, is part of the life-blood of being an artist. If there is no challenge to speak of, is there a point to doing art? Challenge helps us to be life-long learners. And it reminds us why we do what we do. Art is HARD. And that's just the way I like it!

~Cara

New Title!

So as you may have noticed, my blog title has changed! It was brought to my attention that I was sharing the title with a fellow artist, and I decided that I should change my title, as my fellow artist coined the title before me. At first, I was worried about changing the title of my blog, since you all have come to identify with the name, but I decided to look at the changing of my title as an opportunity! After some consideration, I felt I could choose a title that better describes the way I feel about my art life. Though art does play a huge part in keeping me a sane individual, I realized that even more than that, art has been a gift to me...one for which I am thankful every day I awaken to it's presence. Art has been a benevolent force in my life that allows me to express myself, engage in discovery of the world around me and it constantly encourages me to search my soul! Art has given me the privilege of being of service to the communities in which I work, and an inspiration to people young and old. I realize that the concept of art is much larger than I, and I am honored that I have been invited to participate!

Today, I had my first session in the dance studio since being back in town. It was lovely! I had a great jam session to some of the Michael Lowenstern music, and am looking forward to crafting the piece in the coming weeks. During the session, I contemplated the concept of impulse in my work, as I allowed the music to move my body in every which way upon whim after whim. By listening to my impulses during the jam session, I can begin to see what directions my intentions are taking me, and tap into any emotions that are being brought on by my experience with the new movement discoveries. From the impulses, I can begin to pull out movements that are recurring, and begin to move into the process of repetitive evolution based upon these stronger impulses.

As well as playing in the dance studio, I went back to teaching yoga today. I taught two private sessions and one group class. I am so glad to be back in the yoga room, connecting with fellow practitioners! For all of the excitement had last week at the Goddard residency, I am relieved to be taking deep breaths again, and helping others to do the same.

Tomorrow is going to be such a busy day. I should begin to prepare myself for sleeping! Until next time...

~Cara

Benevolent Universe...

Monday, Monday...I woke up today to the alarm clock only to turn it off and go right back to sleep! However, my reluctance to begin the week back at home in the usual routine could not keep me in bed for long. I have e-mails to respond to, music to listen to, rehearsal schedules to plan, class to teach and an internship to do! The universe is moving along, sending good fortune my way all the while...

As you know, 87 Dance Productions will be performing at the 10th annual Goose Route Dance Festival in July. I am much nearer now to choosing music for the new short work I am to create than I was last I mentioned the piece. While at my MFA residency in Port Townsend, I acquired some music from my friend, Laura. And one artist that I like in particular of the music she shared with me is Michael Lowenstern. He is a clarinet player, and makes wonderfully layered offerings full of rhythm, melody and color! I am leaning toward a selection of music from his album, Ten Children, but I need to check out just a few more artists before I make a final decision.

The last week has brought a rash of good news! The first bit of which is our acceptance to perform Words Apart on the 20th anniversary season of the NC Dance Festival tour! The NC Dance Festival is an annual five-city tour of North Carolina. It is a great way to stay connected to the dance community statewide, and since I danced on the tour back in 2007, I have wished to again have the honor of performing with talented artists from all over the state!

In addition to being asked to the tour, Scott(the percussionist from my piece, Lost and Found) and I have been asked to perform our little theater piece May 2nd in Greensboro! I am excited to show the piece in the triad area once again, since there were not as many people at our January performances as we might have liked, due to the weather. This particular performance will be outdoors with (hopefully) great springtime weather! My next goal for this play is to send the script to short play festivals in hopes of having it produced by small theater companies around the USA. Ambitious? Yes. But as Ta-coumba said, "Nothing beats a fail but a try!"

As for my film work, our dance film, Two Downtown has been accepted to its first film festival! The Indie Grits Film festival in Columbia, SC is a young festival, but a fun one! I had the privilege of showing my film, Folding Over Twice last year. Indie Grits was my first film festival ever, so my return to the festival this year will be extra special!

The last bit of good news is regarding my documentary, Art for the Living. Jan has decided to give the sculpture she made for her husband Dan to the hospice center where he was cared for prior to his death. She will be completing the installation on Thursday, and I will be along to film. I feel like this gracious act of closure will make the telling of Jan's story complete, as far as the film is concerned. I understand however, that Jan's experience will continue beyond the scope of the film, for the rest of her life. I can only continue to be in awe of Jan and humbled by her willingness to let me in on this very personal part of her life.

It is my hope that things carry on in this fashion in the near future...I have grant applications, film fest applications and choreography applications I would like to see come through! Come on, karma!

~Cara

Leaving Goddard

The day to leave Fort Warden has come. After a lovely, relaxing ride with the girls through the towns and cities leaving Port Townsend, I am writing to you from inside the terminal of the Seattle-Tacoma Air Port. My brain is full of thoughts reflecting on the past week's activities and experiences and I am overfull of inspiration from, and admiration of my classmates and faculty. This morning, I was so sad to leave the beautiful scenery of the beach, the pine trees and the mountains, juxtaposed against each other in a way that suggests you are in two places at once. And though I am excited to sleep in my own bed, and experience the love of my family through hugs and kisses I can feel and reciprocate, I am apprehensive to re-enter real life. The teaching, the commuting, the performing, the assimilation...grocery shopping, getting gas, paying bills...they just don't seem to compare to the notion of sharing art in a collective experience where everyone understands and respects each other.

I plan to allow my long journey home to act as a re-entry process, like a space ship entering the earth's atmosphere, moving through the various layers of space, comets and gases until my feet touch the ground in Greensboro. Shaking the clouds from around my head, I will finally be ready to return to normalcy. I'm happy to acknowledge though, that my normalcy now includes new art projects and thoughts, a new daily practice and my friends scattered across the country to think about until the next time we meet.

Back to the grind!

~Cara

6 and 7...The Goddard Home Stretch!!!

Yesterday's workshops begin with Touching the Feminine Creative Source. Some common themes that come up in much of the work by women at Goddard are feminism, contemporary feminine identity, feminine objectivity and the sacred feminine. The workshop explores concepts found in the sacred sexuality movement and how these concepts connect to the art of contemporary burlesque. The workshop's presenter, Roslyn is a returning student at Goddard, and is a professional burlesque performer and choreographer. She explains how the art of burlesque has evolved over time, and the ways it is presented today. At the end of the workshop, we learn some glove and boa choreography, which is so much fun! I felt like a little girl playing dress up! In addition to that however, I left the workshop feeling empowered, and proud to be a woman!

Alrick Brown presented the evening's workshop entitled, Rhythms in Film Practice: Pre Production, Production and Post Production In Rwanda. Alrick is a faculty member and film director who has just completed a feature shoot in Rwanda. He takes us through his journey in making the movie and it is immediately clear that this was an arduous task. The film, called Kinyarwanda, depicts the true stories of Rwandans during the genocide of the 1990's, before the rest of the world knew what was happening. Before showing an excerpt, Alrick gives us a historical timeline of events from the 1800's to the present day that ultimately led to the violence between the Hutu and the Tutsi. He the goes on to explain how the film was made, in true indie film fashion. The film was crewed and cast with locals in Rwanda, many of whom had experienced the Genocide. The excerpt he presented from the rough cut was beautiful and I am certain it will be a beautiful, powerful film!

To begin this Friday morning, I attend the third installment of Seitu's boat building seminars, which is a discussion about boat design. A local boat designer, Carl Chamberlin, explains how boats are designed with regard to water displacement, weight, desired water lines and other factors. He brings drafts, scale models and pictures of finished boats. he also explains the design for the boat we will be building.

In the afternoon, I attend a very touching workshop called, Burning Mother. The workshop is set up as a ritual in which participants write haiku regarding their mothers. These haiku are written on thin strips of paper, which are woven into a paper chain. The haiku can be tributes, desires for reconciliation, apologies or words of forgiveness. Once the chain is complete, it, along with a representative "mother," made of sticks and paper are burned in the fireplace as an offering. The haiku, and the stories and circumstances shared with those poems were beautiful, contemplative and extremely emotional. There were few dry eyes in the room. As the representative mother is placed into the fire, I watch her slowly burn orange and her frame fall in on itself. Her paper skirt flakes away with each lick of the flames. Before long, she is completely gone...

Be strong as you can
let light shine upon your brow
momentum in stars.

Insecurity
for fear of abandonment
Emerge into joy!

These are two haiku I wrote in honor of my own mother.

At our last advising session with Petra for the residency, we focus on nourishment. She makes it clear how important nourishment is during the semester, when we get bogged down in our school work and our jobs and our lives. We create rituals for nourishment at the pier. My group decides to make an offering to the ocean, and it can be anything: a wish, a prayer, a fear, etc. I decide to offer a prayer to the sea. Then I think I have found my daily practice for my semester. Petra has encouraged each of us to have a small daily practice for the semester, and I think I want to offer a prayer each day that is not for myself.

After advising, I go to watch Mindy, a fellow classmate of mine perform a series of song cycles based upon her experiences with an eating disorder and relationships. The songs are beautiful, and Mindy performs with an unparalleled charm and twinkle in her eye. The lyrics are both smart and striking, referencing Disney princesses and pop culture. She casually tells stories in between songs and engages us on a personal level. It is just the kind of intimate, sweet performance I love.

Now, we are coming to the end of the line, preparing to be apart from one another in the Goddard community for six months. The last night at residency is filled with farewell merriment: the ping-pong tournament, cabaret and dancing into the evening. A joyous celebration of yet another rash of study plans completed, artwork shared and friendships strengthened. The next time we meet, I will be on my way back to NC...back to real life.

~Cara

Days 4 and 5!!!

What an adventure Tuesday was! As it turns out, our boat trip included two stops: The first was The Northwest Maritime Center, which is a lovely facility and docking area where the Wooden Boat festival will be held this coming September. The NMC houses a boat building and repair shop, which is filled with the beautiful smells of all kinds of wood, and the sights are just as beautiful. The whole place is a wash of rich brown, blonde, red and beige colors. The boats made in the shop and the boats docked at the center are fine works of art and craftsmanship, which I have never seen up close before. I touched them, ran my fingers over all of their different textures, observed them floating peacefully in the deep water and I pondered overcoming my fear of water, so I might one day truly enjoy their beauty. Also in the center is an observation tower, from which I could see boats far out in the water, birds perching on driftwood floating in the gentle ripples and snow capped mountains peaking from behind the clouds. We next ventured up to the Northwest School of Wooden Boat Making. Students from all over the world come to this humble shop space to learn the craft of traditional wooden boat making. I am amazed as I watch men and women of various ages bend planks and sew beautiful sails. Once the students there graduate from the program, they are not only masterful boat makers, but skilled woodworkers that are capable of building furniture, cabinetry, houses and more. I am so excited to build our little Goddard boat next residency!

Later in the evening, I participate in Considered Space. I show a part of my dance piece, Words Apart, and show a rough cut of the documentary that came out of that project, Art for the Living. I am glad to find that my work is received well, and that my fellow classmates offer some wonderful suggestions as to what I might include in the final cut of the doc.

On Wednesday, I am happy to know that my day will consist of a good quantity of movement, one thing I tend to miss at residency where we spend most of our time seated in theoretical discussion. However, I begin the day with a seminar about artist opportunities, i.e. grant seeking, residencies, finding work space, etc. I am reminded to "remember who your angels are." Angels are those people who wish to support your artistic endeavors in return for nothing other than gratitude, or a fair exchange. I realize I have some angels: Wanda, who owns the space I rehearse in has been wonderful. She allows me to use her space for nothing other than my desire to make work. She does this for many dancers in the area, and makes all of our art lives easier, because of it. Angie and Sue at the Enrichment Center have also been lovely to me. They helped me to get 87 Dance Productions, my dance company, off the ground by providing me space at a price I could afford and a community entity to collaborate with time and time again. I feel lucky, as I have more angels than this...but listing them all would be tedious for both me, the writer and you, the reader! Sometime, I must remember to find a way to collectively thank all of my angels...

After the seminar, I go a workshop entitled, "Mind/Body/Time: An Introductory Workshop in Contemplative presence and Movement. Michael Sakamoto leads the workshop, and he is Goddard's newest faculty member. We begin by walking slowly, with our breath across our space, and I am reminded what a feat walking actually is. The truth about walking around in everyday life is that walking is a series of controlled falls. And that walking slowly requires a kinetic understanding of balance that most people are not aware of. I watch my classmates work through the difficulty of walking and making kinetic discoveries and this keeps my deep attention as my mind moves into it's scientific-nerd-anatomy place. We then proceed to create movement based around various directives to embody large paint brushes and animals we love an fear. By the end of the workshop, I recognize that my mind has grown tired from all the intense concentration, but my body is happy to have moved so much.

After lunch, we have advising sessions and Petra leads us down to the beach, as it is a lovely day. We described our individual work spaces to the larger group. Many of the group members have work spaces in their homes, which I one day hope to have. However, having a proper movement space in a home is trickier than having an artist's workspace in a home. Petra talks about the importance of having your work space be a special place, infused with energies and artifacts most conducive to your art practice. In response to this conversation, Petra asks each of us to create a space on the beach that represents a sacred space to us. I make a little altar out of beach wood, with some beach grass in it, and an aisle leading up to the altar sprinkled with bright white shells, like little flower petals. At the top of the aisle, I place my open journal.

After advising, Laura, Ellen and I prepare to present our own workshop, "Performative Painting: Connecting Through Paint, Rhythm and Movement." In the workshop space, we set up six large boards covered in paper on which to paint in a circle, in various positions. Some are on the floor, some are propped up on the wall and some are draped over stands to create curved surfaces. Laura has a sound station with brooms, sticks, tarps, paper, and other noise making things in a space in a corner just outside of the circle. The middle of the circle is left bare for movement exploration. We have an intimate group of seven people. We begin with a movement warm up and pause to breathe together before we begin the evening's practice. The hope was that the movements would encourage the painting to come from the body, not just the mind. We encourage participants to weave in and out of each art form, movement, music making and painting at their will. It is lovely. There are wonderful rhythms being made, beautiful dance conversations happening and amazing paintings being created. Each art form is inspiring the others. At the end of the practice, we return to the center of the circle to breathe together one more time. The participants have thoroughly enjoyed themselves, and one exclaims, "I wanna paint like this all the time!" And one declares that she would like to try this format with her high school art classes back home. I am really tired by this time, but happy as a cat, as my body is now completely open in its joints and lungs.

Stephanie cooks us pasta later in the evening and we all drink beer and eat licorice over conversations about art, race, privilege and other things. That night, I fall asleep with my headphones on. The week is almost over. I am feeling full in my mind, heart and soul and am looking forward to starting my semester at home!

~Cara

Day 3 at Goddard!

I am again inspired by Ta-coumba's energy and enthusiasm during our morning art workshop. We delve deeper into discussion about public art, as we paint, draw and tell stories. He says, "when introducing yourself to a community, you should invite them into your process." I ponder this statement as I look back at some of my own community based projects. I ask myself, "how have I invited my community into my art process?" I realize that only until recently, have I begun to invite my community into my process. In prior community works, I have been so intent on having polished material ready to present from the first moment of a project, that I have forgotten how being transparent can lead to happy mistakes and a stronger bond with the people I'm working with. I realize also, that this desire to be "polished" before a project is finished has been my response to being "new." I have had a fear of being seen as not skillful or experienced enough to complete projects that are large, and may involve groups which are for whatever reason, challenging to work with. I am proud that my work with the Storyline Project of Winston Salem has been a totally transparent one. I have made so many new friends and acquaintances because of it, and I feel like my art work has suddenly been taken to another level.

My favorite qutoe from Ta-coumba's workshop is, "Shut up, pay attention, and don't have an outcome!" He makes this statement in response to working in collaboration with groups and committees. He works with many committees when engaging in his work, and they often involve not only artists, but city planners, politicians, community representatives, school representatives, and other "non-artist" community members. However, he says that many times, these people are the ones that come up with the best ideas, as they have no expectations of themselves. He also acknowledges that when doing community art, it belongs to the community, not to the artist. He says that it is hard for him to sign his name on a piece of community art, since those who brought the doughnuts to the planning meeting, or supervised the school children during the making of the piece of art, etc, are all responsible for the outcome.

Later in the day, we meet in our advising groups. We were all supposed to bring an activity that represents part of our artistic process. I decided that my activities would revolve around what I call, "repetitive evolution," and technique tempered with "unadulterated groove time." Repetitive evolution is a process by which to create dance phrase work, that involves repeating one movement until another movement naturally happens after that movement, until you have a complete phrase. Creating phrase work in this way encourages a deeper level of muscle memory and a chance to allow the movement to come into its own as it is being created. Since many of the people in my group do not fancy themselves movers, I presented this concept as a partner exercise where we bounced words back and forth between us, which evolved into stories, word association experiences and generally, a good time! For unadulterated groove time, I had my group mates draw a "perfect" circle, a "perfect" square and a "perfect" triangle and in between each of those tasks, I encouraged them to engage in U.G.T. in any way they felt appropriate...doodling, stretching, singing, leaving the space, etc. The concept is, that if one must engage in technical practices, they should be tempered with impulsive activities that continue to cultivate joy and exploration, as these explorations and discoveries derived from those explorations may change the way we engage with our technical practices.

Other students presented concepts of asking specific questions to engage in a process, observation as an entry into a process, collaboration as a vehicle for art making and more.

At lunch, I show Alrick Brown, a faculty member and filmmaker, the rough cut of my documentary, Art for the Living. He points out places that need cleaning, asks me questions about the process of making the film and gives me insight into his theories on editing. Ultimately, he congratulates me on a job well done thus far, and urges me to continue to work through any challenges I may be having during the completion of the film and to remember the intention of the film as I continue to cut.

To end the day, Seitu Jones, another faculty member at Goddard and community-based artist gave a presentation on boat making as an art form. As it turns out, he has used boat making with many groups to encourage collaboration, community, sustainability and beauty. I am fascinated as he takes us through the history of African boat making traditions, and the boats he has made with various groups of high school students and community groups. Today, we will venture out to the Northwest School of Wooden Boat Making to learn more about the craft of wooden boat making, before we make our own Goddard boat next residency! I'm so excited!

This morning, I will attend a workshop on comedic improvisation, which I am very excited about and later, I will show some work at what is called, "Considered Space." Considered Space is where students can show works in progress for feedback.

More later!

~Cara

Day Two!

I would like to begin by saying that the colors on this stretch of coast are breathtaking! Each morning, I wake up to a vibrant fuchsia sunrise over a calm, reflective sea and bright white birds flying overhead. The grass is deep green with frost on the blades, and at night for the past few days, the moon has been bright, casting soft silvery light everywhere....

There's an ivory crescent
swinging low in the sky
by which the frost on
sleeping blades shimmers.....

Now to begin with the adventures of yesterday:

The Sunday of each residency is marked by a ceremony for the graduating class. In the morning, I watch artists make and share music, drawings, paintings and photography. We are invited to participate in their artistic processes in the form of group activities. These are the last group of final presentations before graduation. At 2pm, graduation commences. Each graduate is introduced in a beautiful, personal statement made by their advisers. I have a hard time holding in my emotion as each graduate thanks their families and advisers for their profound journey through this place.

The evening's presentation is given by visual artist Ta-coumba T. Aiken. I am immediately drawn to his way of speaking and his vibrant energy. He seems a deeply caring man, with a flare for people and community, which is clearly evident in his work. He describes his artwork as such: "I create my art to heal the hearts and souls of people/communities by evoking a positive spirit." Ta-coumba presents a collection of community artworks that spans a career of over thirty years. Each work has been, in some way transformative for himself and/or the people he serves through his art. It is immediately apparent that Ta-coumba has been fearless in trying new ways of working, and the amount of various materials, locations and collaborations that have come out of that fearlessness is amazing. He says, "Nothing beats a failure, but a try!" And I am inspired to be just as fearless. When asked how and why he makes so much art, he says, "When art threatens me, I get in its face." I love that. In looking at his paintings and sculptures, there is an intricate style about them that makes you keep looking back again and again, to see what you may have missed looking at it the first time. His use of both color and black and white seems intuitive, with a natural visual and energetic flow that is invigorating. I am grateful to have met this person, and experienced his work! I feel I have already learned so much from just a few hours with him, so I am SUPER excited for his workshop today!

~Cara